I think I've mentioned this before but my nephews started their first season of little league hockey recently. Hockey is a religion in my family although none of us have tried to actually play it due to a general lack of coordination (I think it's genetic). The boys decided hockey would be their sport last year and they look adorable in all of their little gear. Earlier this month I took them to the NHL All-Star Game in Montreal and they had the time of their lives. However, hockey has not come without its issues.
One of my nephews was born prematurely and has hearing issues in one ear. There were attempts over the past few years to try and fix it so he wouldn't have to wear hearing aides but they were painful for him and didn't seem to help much so his parents decided not to have yet another surgery. Instead, we all learned sign language and he occasionally wore his hearing aide and moved along just fine. Then he found hockey. And hockey required him to be able to hear. So once he decided he was sure he wanted to play, he went back to the operating table and, amazingly, this time it took. He still has to improve his speaking skills but he's doing very, very well off the ice. On the ice....well, the boy can't stop on his skates. His coaches decided he should try to play goalie because he has no trouble throwing himself in front of things and it requires less stopping than any other position, although he has to learn how to stop while moving back and forth. He's becoming a great goalie and we hold out hope that, someday, he will learn how to stop while moving at full speed. (Sounds do dramatic, doesn't it?)
The other nephew threw us for a loop when he decided to play hockey. His dad is a baseball player and his mom plays volleyball. He's been learning volleyball since he was born and he spends most of his time with mom while she trains. He's extremely good at volleyball. Baseball does not interest him in the least. The only reason he like the ballpark is because of the food and the playground. No one was forcing him into either sport, we were just kinda waiting to see what he wanted to do since he's a boy with many interests (seriously he's like my clone). He wanted to play hockey and it turns out he's really, really good at it. He's a forward and from the day he stepped on the ice, he could skate and stop and shoot like he'd been doing it his entire life.
It is hockey amongst 6, 7 and 8 year-olds so it's not expected to be a very violent thing. But our boys...they like to hit and hitting is legal in their league because I don't think the powers that be expect any of the hits to be very hard. They might wanna reconsider that. Our little forward went screaming into the boards last night and put a hit on another kid. They went into the boards at an odd angle and both ended up on the ice. The other kid has a broken nose. Our kid has a fractured arm. Thankfully, no parents got out of hand about the hit, it was kinda laughed off once they realized it wasn't super serious (I wasn't there, but I hear it was a good, clean hit that I woulda been proud of). He'll have to sit out about a month of his first season of hockey but he's pretty excited to have had his first big hit and injury all in one shot. If the two of them stick with this, it could be pretty entertaining. And now my 9 year-old niece wants in on hockey. Apparently soccer isn't violent enough for her.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If it ain't broke then break it
Have you ever had one of those people in your life who can take anything that's going well in your life and make you feel bad about it? I had someone close to me who used to do just that and I'm not sure she even knew it. I would call her every week just to talk and catch up and a good amount of the time I would hang up the phone feeling much less excited about what I had going for me in my life than when I'd dialed the numbers. Sometimes I would call with great news and hang up feeling completely demoralized. She just had a way of making me feel like whatever I was doing, it wasn't enough. So eventually I stopped calling altogether. And I felt bad about that but I didn't know what else to do. She passed away before I could ever tell her why I wasn't calling as much and it was a blessing in disguise I guess. I never expected her to be gone but her passing was a wake up call and it got me back on track.
My girlfriend has someone like that in her life. Or, rather, she did have someone like that in her life, she broke it off this morning. This person has been a part of her life since she was born and there has been trouble in the past but nothing major. Then we started dating and it was clear that this person did not like me. This person had a major cow when she found out we were expecting a child together. She doesn't know me, she's barely given me a chance and yet, so far, she's accused me of being an abuser and lacking the capabilities to truly love someone. Obviously, this has put some strain on my relationship with my girlfriend. I never really thought of it much because this person lives across the country and we don't see them much anyway so it was easy to ignore. Yesterday was supposed to be a big day for my girlfriend, career-wise. It's something that she's been waiting for her entire life and we were both so excited. Then this person showed up unannounced to be a part of this event and I thought she would just blow through and there would be little drama. I mean, if you love someone the last thing you wanna do is screw up a big moment in their life, right? Wrong.
The actual event went off without a major hitch, other than the occasional complaint about some of the decisions made about how the event was planned and the food, etc. I had to leave right after for a work function, so the two of them were on their own for the drive home. That's when the claws apparently came out and this person got on my girlfriend about her life decisions the past year and a half and essentially told her she didn't know what she was doing and that she should leave me. As you may expect, this did not go over well with the girlfriend. A loud argument ensued and I came home to find my girlfriend pretty pissed off and, even worse than that, hurt in a way I've never seen before. We didn't talk for a few hours, I knew she'd say something when she was ready. And it was a rough night from there. She loves this person, they're family, but I think she just reached her breaking point and she knew it. And it absolutely kills me that I can't do anything to fix this. I had my own confrontation this morning with this person and I just can't believe anyone could be that cold to someone they supposedly love. And it bothers me that I feel...I don't know, in some way partly responsible for my girlfriend having to cut this person out of her life. But I think at some point it would've come to this anyway, even without me. Doesn't make me feel any better. And I hope this...break up between them doesn't last forever. I may not like this person but at the end of the day I just want my girlfriend to be happy and to have the people she wants in her life. And for those people to not piss her off for no reason and try to force their ways on her.
My girlfriend has someone like that in her life. Or, rather, she did have someone like that in her life, she broke it off this morning. This person has been a part of her life since she was born and there has been trouble in the past but nothing major. Then we started dating and it was clear that this person did not like me. This person had a major cow when she found out we were expecting a child together. She doesn't know me, she's barely given me a chance and yet, so far, she's accused me of being an abuser and lacking the capabilities to truly love someone. Obviously, this has put some strain on my relationship with my girlfriend. I never really thought of it much because this person lives across the country and we don't see them much anyway so it was easy to ignore. Yesterday was supposed to be a big day for my girlfriend, career-wise. It's something that she's been waiting for her entire life and we were both so excited. Then this person showed up unannounced to be a part of this event and I thought she would just blow through and there would be little drama. I mean, if you love someone the last thing you wanna do is screw up a big moment in their life, right? Wrong.
The actual event went off without a major hitch, other than the occasional complaint about some of the decisions made about how the event was planned and the food, etc. I had to leave right after for a work function, so the two of them were on their own for the drive home. That's when the claws apparently came out and this person got on my girlfriend about her life decisions the past year and a half and essentially told her she didn't know what she was doing and that she should leave me. As you may expect, this did not go over well with the girlfriend. A loud argument ensued and I came home to find my girlfriend pretty pissed off and, even worse than that, hurt in a way I've never seen before. We didn't talk for a few hours, I knew she'd say something when she was ready. And it was a rough night from there. She loves this person, they're family, but I think she just reached her breaking point and she knew it. And it absolutely kills me that I can't do anything to fix this. I had my own confrontation this morning with this person and I just can't believe anyone could be that cold to someone they supposedly love. And it bothers me that I feel...I don't know, in some way partly responsible for my girlfriend having to cut this person out of her life. But I think at some point it would've come to this anyway, even without me. Doesn't make me feel any better. And I hope this...break up between them doesn't last forever. I may not like this person but at the end of the day I just want my girlfriend to be happy and to have the people she wants in her life. And for those people to not piss her off for no reason and try to force their ways on her.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Long Time Gone
It's been a looong time since I wrote. I've had to deal with some work stuff and friend stuff and a nasty trip to the hospital in an ambulance. But all is well now, for the most part. Before everything went nuts, I got caught up in a program my girlfriend was watching about personality types and relationships. It was about some doctor of something who developed this test you can take to determine what your dominant traits are. One specific group is called 'Explorers' and I made fun of that term to no end during the show because it sounds like what they'd call the special kids at a school or something. Then we both took the test and found out we're explorers. We have different secondary personality types, but the first one is 'Explorer'. Then she got to thinking about different relationships she's been in and grown up around and exactly what kind of relationship we have now.
My parents were never really "together" and hers are divorced. My family has had exactly three marriages in two generations that have lasted way long term. One just hit 20 years, another (although they're not technically married) is at 30 years and my great grandparents were married 56 years. My great grandparents marriage is one of those where you wonder what the heck they ever saw in each other in the first place. They never had children together, grandma already had three from her first marriage and by the time they got married grandpa had his hands full with the grand kids. My aunts and uncles were holy terrors most of the time but grandpa loved every minute of it. He fit right into the family from day one. He and grandma were not always the most functional couple, but then what couple is all of the time? As they got older he became the one to take care of her and he would always be keeping busy in some way or another around the house. Grandma was fine, except for her hearing, and sometimes I wished I could put a camera in their house to capture their antics. They'd sit together in the living room and watch their telenovelas and she'd call him names randomly and completely unprovoked. He could never do anything right and she wanted him to know it but he just kept on trucking and he'd joke about it and call her "The Warden". Underneath it all, you could tell how much he adored her and you knew she loved him, even though she didn't say it much. Grandma died about a year ago and Grandpa's had it rough since then. He's happy, for the most part, but you can tell some of the spark is gone. He spent most of his life with her and he's been kinda lost since she's been gone. Hopefully, he's got a lot of life to live, he's only in his 80's (he was younger than her by eight years, very controversial at the time).
Most of what I know about relationships that work came from observing the few successful ones around me. I haven't always applied what I know but I do know it. In fact, I probably haven't started applying most of it until this relationship. My problem has always been boredom. I've dated smart women who were no fun, I've dated fun women who were not too bright, I've dated women who loved sports but were uninterested in art and I've dated creative women who didn't understand sports. There was always one thing missing and I'd use that one thing as my excuse for being bored and then I'd move on. I figured you couldn't have it all and eventually I'd have to settle for someone who had a habit or a lack of knowledge on something that annoyed me. My girlfriend is smart and she understands and appreciates art and she's willing to learn about sports. I'd never really thought about it until recently but we're not really all that similar. We're not opposites either, we're kinda right down the middle most of the time. Somehow it balances out. It's been...a battle, to say the least. But we're happy and that's what matters.
My parents were never really "together" and hers are divorced. My family has had exactly three marriages in two generations that have lasted way long term. One just hit 20 years, another (although they're not technically married) is at 30 years and my great grandparents were married 56 years. My great grandparents marriage is one of those where you wonder what the heck they ever saw in each other in the first place. They never had children together, grandma already had three from her first marriage and by the time they got married grandpa had his hands full with the grand kids. My aunts and uncles were holy terrors most of the time but grandpa loved every minute of it. He fit right into the family from day one. He and grandma were not always the most functional couple, but then what couple is all of the time? As they got older he became the one to take care of her and he would always be keeping busy in some way or another around the house. Grandma was fine, except for her hearing, and sometimes I wished I could put a camera in their house to capture their antics. They'd sit together in the living room and watch their telenovelas and she'd call him names randomly and completely unprovoked. He could never do anything right and she wanted him to know it but he just kept on trucking and he'd joke about it and call her "The Warden". Underneath it all, you could tell how much he adored her and you knew she loved him, even though she didn't say it much. Grandma died about a year ago and Grandpa's had it rough since then. He's happy, for the most part, but you can tell some of the spark is gone. He spent most of his life with her and he's been kinda lost since she's been gone. Hopefully, he's got a lot of life to live, he's only in his 80's (he was younger than her by eight years, very controversial at the time).
Most of what I know about relationships that work came from observing the few successful ones around me. I haven't always applied what I know but I do know it. In fact, I probably haven't started applying most of it until this relationship. My problem has always been boredom. I've dated smart women who were no fun, I've dated fun women who were not too bright, I've dated women who loved sports but were uninterested in art and I've dated creative women who didn't understand sports. There was always one thing missing and I'd use that one thing as my excuse for being bored and then I'd move on. I figured you couldn't have it all and eventually I'd have to settle for someone who had a habit or a lack of knowledge on something that annoyed me. My girlfriend is smart and she understands and appreciates art and she's willing to learn about sports. I'd never really thought about it until recently but we're not really all that similar. We're not opposites either, we're kinda right down the middle most of the time. Somehow it balances out. It's been...a battle, to say the least. But we're happy and that's what matters.
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