Her: I don't even know how people do it in only military
Me: Military?
Her: Position
[Moment where we both realize what she actually meant]
Me: LOL Missionary
Her: LOL. OMG I meant MISSIONARY
The fact that she said 'position' as if THAT were what I didn't understand was hilarious.
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I have taken to playing 'Draw Something' again and, as you know, I can't draw for crap. A friend of mine just got a smartphone and just before she got it, this happened:
Friend: My phone should be in tomorrow
Friend: I'm ready to fuck up the English language
Me: lol And I am ready to point, laugh, post to the blog and forget that I was you a year ago
Friend: LOL Asshole
Then, we started playing 'Draw Something' and she can actually kinda draw. Most of her pictures actually look like...well, what they're supposed to be. Whereas mine look like...well, not what they're supposed to be. But I did get the word 'Lawnmower' and drew this:
(Yes, this is as well as I can draw, sadly.)
To which she said: "LOL You know you are a Mexican when your drawing of a lawnmower is the best you've done." Bazinga.
But two days later, a little fella called karma came knocking at her Draw Something door. We're both lusting after the watercolor brush on the game but neither of us are even close to the tax bracket we need to be in to afford it. She texts me the other night saying she logged into her account to find an absurdly high number of coins and she had no idea where they'd come from. Of course she immediately bought the watercolor brush, and I joked that it was probably a glitch and that the man would come around and repossess that brush in a few days time. I didn't have to wait that long:
Her: LMFAO Well you called it. It was a glitch. I refresh the game and not only were all my coins gone but they repossessed the watercolor brush
Me: LOL. Watercolor brush, we hardly knew ye
Me: lol Hide yo coins, hide yo watercolor brush
Her: LOL
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I had some sort of stomach bug the other night and my texting paid the price.
Me: She asked me if I took anything for it and iPhone says to her, he says, "like HDTV a bottle of porno" Friend: LMAO!
Me: lol Fuckin' smartphone
Friend: I want a bottle of porno!
Me: 99 bottles of porn on the wall, 99 bottles of porn. A midget takes one down, passes it around, 99 porn loving midgets abound!
Friend: LOL I fuckin' love you
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G: So my parents are duking it out again in court over some crap, right?
Me: Yeah
G: And today, coincidentally, is when the ruling comes down in her case too.
G: So I'm gonna send you the same song I sent her in honor of the occasion.
Me: lol I'm scared
[G sends this]
Me: LMAO! Oh man....
G: What? What's funny about that song? INDEPENDENCE YO!
Me: Do you even know what that song is about?
G: Independence...or something...but I have a feeling I'm wrong lol
Me: LOL Um...basically a dude abuses his wife and daughter and then the wife burns their house to the ground with the dude still in it. Thus, she regains her independence.
G: LMAO! Wowwwwwww. I was way off.
Me: So basically you suggested that your mom burn down your dad's house with him in it
G: LOL Dammit!
Me: And I'm not sure who you're suggesting I set on fire...remember the government is listening lol
G: lol You and the fuckin' government, like you're somebody
Me: LOL That's big talk for someone who's going to prison as an accessory
G: lol If I get popped, I'm taking all ya'll down with me. Nobody gets out alive.
