It seems like so long ago I began my parental journey with my teenager. At the time, she was fighting with her dad constantly and landed at my door asking if she could live with me. Eventually, that's exactly what happened. Thankfully, she was old enough to mostly take care of herself so the state didn't look in on us nearly as often as they said they would. (Though the surprise visits have been so much fun). I guess some would find such unannounced visits nerve-wracking but I never did, I had nothing to worry about. The goal was to keep her alive until her 18th birthday, no one really said I should keep her happy in that time. But it's been a fairly easy route for us.
Wednesday is when my teen turns "legal adult". Technically, I'm not responsible for her anymore in the eyes of the law. But I find myself slowly realizing that I'm not gonna be able to just turn off my parenting of her. Obviously college is just around the corner and that's gonna mean more freedom for her, but I don't know how big a transition it's really gonna be. She's still gonna be living here and she's pretty much had more freedom than most the last few months. She's been working and generally getting her life together before it changes next month.
But what really changes for us on Wednesday? Not a whole lot. She says she still expects to ask me if she can do things, just as a reflex. And I still expect to ask, "Where are you going?" every time she walks out the door. I'm not one to deal with change well so having to take over the care a discipline of a teenager seriously rocked my world for a few days. But I got over it quickly and we settled in. Looking back at all that's gone on in both of our lives the last year, I can see how much things have changed, some I didn't even notice until recently. I feel a lot older than I should at 27. When the clock hit 12:00 A.M. on 1/1/07, I was a bachelor in and out of relationships, half-assing my way through most of them, and not really concerned with looking too far into my own future. Now, I'm a father and I'm happy and helping a kid plan her own future, now that mine seems somewhat set. I guess the only way to really describe it is that it's like I actually became a parent when she came to live with me and everything changed. Teen or newborn, I guess you're playing with a completely new deck either way.
I think my relationships have changed drastically with everyone. I was a responsible guy before but now it feels different. I don't regret having taken on the challenge though. I think it was good for all of us, and especially good for her relationship with her father. They were barely on speaking terms in February and now they talk once a week. I don't think that'd be the case if she woulda had to stay with him. So, Wednesday will be the day we go to the DMV for the big people's license and this weekend she'll celebrate the big day. And, beyond that, she goes to college and I head back to work and everything changes, yet remains the same. Love it.
