The Guardian

When I signed papers and took possession of this teenager, I assumed it would be seven months of saying 'no' to this or that and occasionally letting her have some fun. You know, doing all that party spoiling that parents do to their kids. lol. Instead, it's lasted much longer than that (more like a few years) and it did not occur to me that even though she's only half a year removed from technically being an adult, she's still in need of quite a bit of guidance. I mean, it's not like having a baby or a pre-teen or anything like that, obviously. But this whole thing has had quite an impact on both of us already and we're not even halfway done.
I had no clue how much crap teenagers go through these days. School-wise, she's pretty much done. She has sporadic classes a few days a week and she'll graduate early next month. But before that, there's prom. Thankfully I don't have to worry about drugs or boys (she doesn't have one and she's not going with one) and I'm still borderline on how I should tackle alcohol. She knows I would rather she not drink and she knows that if she does, it's not gonna be a pretty outcome when I find out (and I will find out). Her prom party is at our house, which brings dozens of hormonal teenage girls literally into my backyard. Unfortunately, I have to be around to make sure my house is kept intact but I will have reinforcements. Still, I'll be happy when prom and graduation come and go.
I was thinking yesterday afternoon about just how much things have changed for me in the past few months. On the upside, 27 flew right on through and I was so busy with the kids that I didn't even really notice it. Things have changed in my household with a teenage girl and a baby girl now living here. There's chick stuff everywhere. lol And now most of the decisions I make for the household have to take them into account. I can't just go out and do something I wanna do, destructive or not, and it only affects me. She's almost legal and it's still a lot of work. Possibly more work than the baby is, at this point. I know I'll miss this time though so I'm doing my best to appreciate it.

It's A Girl (Again)

Two days ago a couple of my friends had their first child, a girl. She's beautiful, (but then everyone says that about a kid they love, right?) and on the day she was born, I was having it out with the girlfriend. Not a huge blow-out but just the usual kinda stuff. Then, I called in the evening to let her know the baby was coming and that I was headed out to the hospital. While I was standing near the vending machines waiting with twenty other people for news, I got into a conversation with one of my female friends (sister of the new mom and Godmother of the new baby) about the last 12 months.
I've had family members and acquaintances start families before but the last couple of years, I've really spent most of my time with my group of close friends and none of us ever had any real attachments or kids. It was the whole classic living out your 20's scenario. It all changed two months ago. These past twelve months of expecting my daughter and theirs have been something all of us have lived out together. I don't think it really hit any of us just how much things would change until they finally did. One one hand, I feel sorry for the poor kids. They're gonna have to deal with a million aunts and uncles telling them what to do and what not to do for the rest of their lives. I have a million of those too and it's not the easiest thing. On the other hand, the more people around to love them and give them advice, the better. It's hard not to flash-forward though and wonder what this is all gonna be like in 18 years. I'm currently dealing with a teenager on the brink of her prom night and graduation as well as a two month old who does not want to sleep and it's interesting to see two lives beginning and another one entering the next chapter.
I feel old. lol. I just turned 27, which is stressful enough given I'm officially in the last leg of my 20's, but I feel a lot older than that already. The first half of my 20's was hell. The second half, so far, is going a lot better. I've got this amazing little people to (God-willing) watch grow up and one practice teen who is testing my patience more and more each day (I can't wait until her birthday in August).

Family

I have four "brothers" I grew up with. I refer to all of them as my brothers but only one is actually my half brother. The other four are cousins but we were all raised very closely. One of them is almost exactly a month older than me and we've gone from really close to all out fighting over the years, which isn't uncommon since we're so close in age. I love him and he's always been one of the people I've gone to for advice. My relationship with the mother of my child has grown since we became parents. We've gotten closer and we've gone back to being in a relationship. Not everyone thinks this is a good idea. I told my closest in age brother about all this and he just kinda walked away and nodded. Then, a few nights ago, my girlfriend came over to my place to pick up some stuff and he was there. Apparently she was nice to him and was trying to make conversation and he wanted no part of it, so she asked if something was wrong. He snapped and said that what was wrong is that she's just a phase for me and it'll be over in a month and he's sick of having to watch me do this to myself. I hear he said other things and it resulted in a bit of an argument because she just doesn't take crap from anybody. She defended me and us and stormed out and then he has the nerve to call me and twist the story to benefit his side. Of couse she told me what actually happened and in no way did she bad mouth him, all she said was there had been an argument and that maybe I needed to talk to him. So I talked to him and that resulted in another argument and here we stand on day two of the stand-off.
Never in my life have I butted into my family or friend's relationships. If they ask for my advice, I give it. I don't tell anyone what to do. I don't tell anyone I love that they're f*cking up and they need to realize it and move on. If someone I love is happy, I'm not gonna do anything to take that away. People make mistakes. But they have to make them on their own. And if this is a mistake, then it'll be one I made and I'll deal with. I've never asked him to pick up the pieces before and I won't do it if this doesn't work. The rest of my family is slowly finding out about our being back in a relationship and they've been nothing but supportive, so why can't he be? I know for a fact that not all of them agree with it but they trust me to make my own decision here. It just pisses me off that he can't see past my old constant f*ck up self and realize I've turned a corner. Now I'm just "adorably dysfunctional", as a friend of mine puts it. And I'm fine with that. Now if only he could accept this...