A Turkey Day Story

Ah, turkey day...a day to do nothing but eat and watch/play football and be with the people you love. My family invites just about everyone they know to dinner every year so it's always a huge fun event. This year was my first Thanksgiving with my daughter. But my turkey day fun began a few days before the actual holiday. This is the first time in years that everyone in my family made it to the house on time for Thanksgiving. Usually there are some who don't get here until the morning of or way late the day before. So my aunt decided to take full advantage of the manpower and put up all of the Christmas stuff on Tuesday. In the midst of putting an ornament on the tree I stepped back and smacked into a child (not sure which one) and my momentum carried me backwards until I fell onto the couch and knocked my head on the windowsill. This caused a three inch gash in the back of my head and blood shot across the wall like someone had just taken a knife to their throat. (I know this because I never miss an episode of CSI and my family was nice enough to take pictures of the carnage for me). So my pre-turkey day fun was over as I went to the hospital and got about ten stitches to close the thing. I rode the couch the rest of the day and I supposedly have a "mild concussion" but I don't feel the effects of that at all at the moment. Wednesday went by without incident. Half the family was out doing last minute shopping (read: raiding every liquor store in the county) and the rest of us were at home doing prep work and blasting the 'Rhythm Nation' album (best album ever) on repeat. It was a lot of fun. The actual holiday started earlier than I would've liked but it worked out okay. Two of my nephews are learning how to skate because they're in little league hockey. They're adorable in all of their gear and one of them skates incredibly fast already that he's garnered the nickname 'lightning'. The other...well..let's just say hockey is definitely the sport for him. He's not overly violent or anything but he's looking to be the kind of player that gets under the skin of the other team(nickname: thunderbolt, because he likes to hit people into the boards). We were out playing with them and the boys were on skates and had their sticks and some of their gear on and I gently kicked the ball past him and asked what he should do if that happens in a game. He thought for about a second then he wound up and slashed the inside of my leg. I mean, this kid hit with some force, I still have the mark to prove it. It was so funny.
Thanksgiving always brings our "big game" of football around that gives the winners bragging rights until the next game we play that counts (Super Bowl). This year was my girlfriend's initiation into the whole thing and she was so excited (and so cocky) that we made a bet two weeks beforehand. It was a good game, a lot of back and forth and a close game. Then, as my team started to pull away in the second half, my brother decided he'd rather have revenge than try to come back. So he sent my girlfriend out there and almost as soon as the ball was snapped, she was in my face and then I was flung to the ground violently. She hit with some kinda force. My team won the game and I won the bet but I had to ice my knee and my back after her hit so I'm not sure we can say who won the war. Overall, it was a great day. And now the madness of Christmas begins. I can't wait.

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toys r us kid...

Remember that song? It was damn catchy. And so true some days. Last weekend, I went to four different stores looking for advent calendars. You know, those little cardboard calendars that have 24 chocolates in them, one for each day leading up to Christmas. I've had one of those just about every year I've been alive. Even now, I think it's just a fun little tradition, although now a lot of the reason I do it is because my niece loves to call every day and exchange info on which chocolate we each got. It's like our little holiday thing. And it is my baby's first Christmas, which just excites me to no end.
Last night, most of my family was at the family home to get their marching orders for Thanksgiving. While waiting for this little meeting to begin, a bunch of my cousins and I were in the backyard just kinda hanging out. Someone picked up a soccer ball that was laying around and flung it at someone else, nailing them in the back. This brought retaliation from the injured party and thus began a rather large and increasingly violent game of dodge ball. I hadn't played that in years. It's such a weird game, I don't even really remember playing it all that much as a kid, except in gym class a few times. I mean, there really is no point to it. Anyone who has good aim is gonna be good at it. But there we were, a bunch of big kids in their 20's flinging soccer balls and volleyballs across the yard. It went on for maybe a half hour before the temperature dropped dramatically and we had to go inside.
It's amazing what you miss sometimes. And it's amazing how some things never change. It's not like my development is delayed or anything, but I don't see anything wrong with letting the kid in you come out every now and again. Anyone who knows me would tell you I'm a bit of a big kid, especially around the holidays. I can't even estimate how much time I spend with the kids every year around this time. Last year, there was a gigantic Nerf gun fight involving three generations. It was so much fun. This year, God knows what we'll get up to. But I can't wait to be swarmed by the munchkins next week and just not have to deal with anything "adult" for awhile.

Kids

Now that my family is finally coming to terms with the fact that I'm never getting married their focus has started to shift. Not annoyingly so (yet) but I must've been asked four times this week, "So...when are you gonna have more kids?". It's not really that big of a surprise to get such a question. And with the holidays coming up, we expect to get the same question more than a couple more times. It doesn't bother us. I mean, we just give a basic 'not anytime soon' answer and move on. The truth is that we have no freakin' clue about the whole kid thing. We adore our little girl and (occasionally) the teenager but we're not looking to have anymore anytime soon. Or, maybe, ever. It hasn't been decided yet. At this point, I can't believe how happy I am and how much I love my life. And everyone says, 'oh, well more kids will only make that better'. Fine...then you have more kids. I'm not looking for a change right now. It may not have happened the way we wanted but I can honestly say that I genuinely did want my girlfriend to be the mother of my child. And she is an amazing mother. Around the time we started "dating" again, I'd started to come to terms with the fact that maybe parenthood just wasn't meant for me. I love kids but maybe I wasn't supposed to have my own. And I was fine with that. Even now that I have a child, I can't say more are gonna happen for me and I don't get why some people don't understand that. I know the holidays are gonna bring more questions that we have no answer for. But it just doesn't really bother me like it used to. I used to get annoyed when I was asked at weddings when it was gonna be my turn. Heh, who knew all that I needed to do was state that it was never gonna happen to be left alone?

Game Changers

I've had quite a few life-altering experiences in 27-ish years. Some have been awesome and some have been horrible. I look at it as a sort of earthquake-esque scale. Every little foundation shaking thing is gonna change something, no matter how small. The big ones can change quite a lot. I'm currently in the midst of what could be a HUGE game changer that could alter the rest of my life. It's come as a shock, to say the very least, and I don't know that I've actually dealt with it. I've tried not to think about it since I got the news. So far, that's working for me. If things stay as they are, I won't have to deal with anything. But if I get the news I'm dreading...I've been thinking about how much would change. I don't know how likely it is that I will get bad news but obviously it's possible or they wouldn't have called. It's amazing how much you take for granted until you have to deal with a crisis or a mini-crisis.

One Giant Step Forward...And more than a few steps back

First, the unbelievably fantastic news. Barack Obama will be the first African-American President in the history of the United States. That is something I've been waiting a long time to say. I'm an Independent but I knew that the Republicans could not have another four years to further screw up the nation. Thankfully, John McCain pretty much rendered his campaign useless when he chose Sarah Palin, whom I believe he barely knew and may not even like all that much, as his running mate. Now, I'm not gonna bash either of them. I think McCain lost a lot of what people loved him for during this campaign. He began as the "maverick" (I sooooo hate that word and am thrilled to not have to hear it anymore) he billed himself as but was soon so enveloped in the same Republican party that brought us Bush, that he showed a completely different side of himself. And that side was not a good one. And, as a result, his reputation is...well, not what it was before he decided to run. I've always liked John McCain and I appreciate and respect all that he's gone through for his country. Blue or red, you have to admit that he does love America. During his very gracious concession speech last night, he showed why people respect him so much. What happens with his reputation now? Good question. Sarah Palin...what to say here. Again, I do not have anything against her. I don't think she's politically smart enough to run for a national office at the moment. I think she has a lot of learning to do and if she's open to it, she could be a force in the future. I do not agree with many of the things she wanted to do as v.p. but I'm sure this is not the last we'll hear from her. She's got the charisma to be a player in her party for a long time. It'll be interesting to see where her path goes from here, as well. Obama...still hasn't fully sunk in for me yet. I hope that the people who didn't vote for him or who helped in spreading lies about him during this campaign will eventually come to embrace him as our 44th President. There is a lot for him and the Obama Administration (doesn't that sound freakin' awesome?!) to deal with both in our country and around the world. Hope is the message he carried throughout his campaign and if you didn't feel that same sense of hope during his speech last night, something is wrong with you. Despite a decisive victory, there will always be critics and some will expect this change he's been preaching to happen overnight. We all know that is not going to happen with the mess we're in now. But I think this is a gigantic step for us as a nation and a step in the absolute right direction. Last night, I particularly enjoyed seeing that Obama had won Florida, a Southern state. I expected McCain to sweep the South. It was a nice surprise. I also liked watching all of the people lined up outside the White House in D.C. It was almost as if they were there to help Bush & Co. pack.
Now, the bad news. There were several measures on the ballot seeking to ban gay marriage or gay adoption. They all passed. In Arkansas, unmarried people and homosexuals are no longer allowed to adopt or foster children. Florida stripped unmarried couples of their rights and banned gay marriage. And, most disturbing of all, California voted to ban gay marriage, possibly rendering some 18,000 unions in the state no longer valid. As I've said, I have friends who married soon after it became legal and my heart just breaks for them. Even worse, this measure passed, at last count, 52% yes to 48% no. Just over half should not be enough to decide such an important issue. Now it will work its way through the court system. What makes me even sadder is that Pop 8 was blatant discrimination and yet some polls are showing that a large number of Hispanics and African-Americans voted in favor of it. I still don't understand how you can vote for discrimination when you've experienced it yourself. I could never do that.
So, as we move forward with the election of Obama, we take a few steps back by taking away basic rights from some of our fellow Americans. Hopefully, the discrimination against homosexuals and gay marriage will find some sort of solution in the future. No one should have to fear losing everything they have if something happens to their partner and they pass away. I'm excited about Obama and where he won and how he conducted himself throughout his campaign. And I'm hopeful that eventually everyone will be treated equally.

Wow

Just after eleven o'clock eastern standard time, the United States of America elected its first ever minority President. Just think about how crazy that is. Even now, almost two hours after his election, it still seems surreal to everyone at this particular election party. I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up upon seeing the graphic announcing Barack Obama's victory. It's amazing how one night can change the world. More tomorrow, the celebration's getting a little outta hand here.

Election Day 2008

So tomorrow the world will change. It'll either be an actual change (Obama) or resigning ourselves to four more years of the same, except with the possibility that things might actually get worse (McCain, even scarier is Palin). And while the Presidential election is obviously number one on everyone's mind, there's a lot more to think about. In several states there are amendments or propositions on the ballot to ban gay marriage or take away the rights of unmarried couples or prohibit unmarried couples from adopting children. The one making the most waves is Proposition 8 in California that would make gay marriage illegal. I'm not a California voter but I have a number of friends who would be affected by this if it passes. I can't believe that such obvious discrimination could even make it on to the ballot. And when you're gay or a minority who has experienced discrimination in your own life, I don't understand how you can vote to make it legal to discriminate against others. I don't understand why the religious right are so threatened by homosexuals. Why should it be anybody else's business if you love someone and you want to marry them? Who cares if you're both the same sex? How does someone else's marriage and family life, no matter their sexual preference, affect your life? It doesn't. Some politicians make it sound like gay is a disease and if we don't ban all of these different things, it's gonna catch and our kids are gonna get it. I don't care if my children turn out to be gay. So long as they're happy, I'm happy. Then, there's amendment 2 in Florida that would ban marriage for gay couples and domestic partnership for all couples, essentially taking away the rights of straight couples who choose not to marry. I live in a state where domestic partnership is non-existent and it's a bit of a pain in the ass to cover all your bases, just in case anything happens to your partner. Act 1 in Arkansas seeks to ban all unmarried couples, gay or straight, from adopting or fostering children. It's main objective, of course, is to prevent gay couples from adopting. But I saw someone from the state's government on television the other night trying to justify why straight, single people or straight couples who don't want to marry are unfit to give children a home. He got taken to task by the host of the show, who is in the straight, non-married category, after he said to her face (well, via satellite) that she would be unfit to raise a child. He even went so far as to suggest that perhaps Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt should have their adopted children taken away because it can't possibly be a "good, wholesome family environment" for the kids if mom and dad aren't married.
All of this is like politicians and religious folks are trying to take us back to the 1950's. Back to when the television always showed homemaker mom and dad in a suit and tie and two or three perfect kids. It's never gonna be like that again. And what is this "traditional family unit" I keep hearing about anyway? It hasn't been that 50's scenario for a long time. I grew up in a house with my mom, siblings, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins at one point. I couldn't name a house in the neighborhood that had that "tradition" thing going on. Even now, I don't know a lot of people who have that kind of household. But if a kid has two dads or two moms around that love him or her and support them and are always there for them, how is that a bad thing? I grew up without a father but with plenty of male role models and more love than any kid should ever have and I don't feel like I'm "damaged" (by that situation, anyway) or like I missed out on anything. There is no typical family. And there is no right or wrong color or sexual orientation or living situation or religion. We all have free will for a reason. If it's my choice to never get married, it doesn't affect anyone else (although Mom would disagree). If me and the non-official Mrs. want to adopt kids six years down the road, as long as we're fit parents it shouldn't matter if we're married or not. And if we choose to raise them as some kind of hybrids, in terms of religion that is, again, no one's business. I shudder to think about what freedoms might be taken away from people should Palin become v.p. I mean, if you've been charged with corruption in Alaska, of all places, can you imagine what could go wrong as the second in command of the country? Let's hope it doesn't come to that.