I'm gonna start out this post by warning that I am nursing both a back injury and a cold at the moment so maybe I'm not thinking as clearly as I should be (don't worry, I'm on Advil and nothing more). But I had the weirdest, most vivid dream last night about love. It's nothing I can really explain in detail except that I woke up questioning the who, what, when, why and hows (I typed 'hoes' twice before getting the word I wanted there; that shows you my mental state) of love in general. Years ago if someone asked how many times I'd been in love my answer would've been something silly like three times. But, hindsight being 20/20, I don't think that's true.
Oddly I can pinpoint the exact second I fell for the two people I've been in love with. Maybe that's not odd, maybe other people can do the same thing. I think, very early on, I felt more than the generic feelings of dating with those two people. There was something more from the start. Both times I can honestly say I was completely swept off my feet and I loved that feeling. Neither of those people ever hurt me in any way, shape or form and I still have feelings for them but I wouldn't say they're unresolved or unrequited. Time simply moved on and moved us to different places in our lives. Such is the mystery of love and "forever" (which I don't believe in anymore but at one time was it's staunchest supporter). If it's real, shouldn't it last for the long haul? One would think. Can one fall out of love? I don't know that I would've agreed with that a few years ago but now I know it to be true. I've only ever fallen out of it once though and it was a b**ch because I couldn't figure out how it happened. It was just gone one day. I don't know if that's just how it is or if that's my restlessness roaring to the front of the line. How quickly can you fall in love? I also woulda said it takes a long time prior to my falling for someone on the first night. First sight love is a crock in my humble opinion because to love and embrace someone and fully fall in love for them, you have to know all their faults. I know it sounds like I'm in some kinda anguish over somebody but really I'm not. Just curious. As always.
