My niece will be THIRTEEN in a matter of months and I can't believe it. I remember the day she was born and now she's a "tween" (god, that term is horrible). She got an assignment last week to write a letter to her future self and it got me thinking about what one might write to their thirteen-year-old selves. I barely remember thirteen anymore, for a number of reasons. But the year after that a lot of stuff began taking off in my life. I know I grew up too fast but it wasn't because I was forced to by family pressure or because something traumatic happened to me (that would be in a letter to twenty-year-old me). I was just in too much of a hurry. I thought fifteen was such a big age to be, so close to being grown up. So that's what I wanted to be. I decided to write my own letter to me, but then realized that young me would probably not even open the envelope because he was too damn stubborn (hey, some things never change). My friends have taken this idea and turned into their latest obsession and not a day goes by that someone doesn't start a sentence with, "Dear Me..." and then adds something they thought was gospel during their youth, but they later found was not. And it's been hysterical. Everyone's shame from the 90's is making its way to the surface and it's fantastic. Below are examples of some of our ridiculous claims.
Things they said I should write to my younger self:
"Dear Me, Little less whoring around. Love, Me."
"Dear Me, Step. Away. From. The. Lemonade."
"Dear Me, Do not EVER, under ANY circumstances, put a ring on it.*"
*(He followed this up with, "Term yet to be created but will come to you by way of something called a Beyonce.")
"Dear Me, Just say no! (P.S. This applies to both drugs and lady friends. And weekends in Vegas during college)."
And examples of what some of them would write to themselves now.
"Dear Me, Do not claim that Color Me Badd are truly talented and will outlast all other boy bands."
"Dear Me, Get off your ass, you ain't all that and a bag of chips...speaking of chips, stay away from those too."
"Dear Me, Do yourself a favor and drop out of med school before you go to med school."
"Dear Me, Run towards the chips and away from anyone named Marco. Also, don't tell the guy you meet in 10th grade Lit that the only living thing that will ever marry him is an ugly ass monkey. Cuz...well, you'll end up being the thing that marries him. And you'll never live it down (the comment, not the marriage). "
"Dear Me, don't wait to come out until Thanksgiving. Your family won't care either way."
"Dear younger, think-you-know-it-all Me - You don't and you never will."
"Dear Me, Someday you will realize that you dodged a bullet by not sending Britney Spears that marriage proposal. Dodged. A. BULLET."
