Obviously some people still believe in "the one" and are very reluctant to let go of someone they think fits the bill. Case in point, the sister of a close friend. She's been with some dude for around a year now and from what I understand it's been a pretty rocky road. He's got jealousy issues and he's insecure about their age difference (she's 25, he's 40) and suspicious of her hanging around with an ex-boyfriend. A month ago, their tumultuous relationship hit a breaking point and they broke up. And then the S.O.B. (rarely use that turn of phrase but trust me, it applies here) made her call every member of each of their immediate families and tell them that they were breaking up because of her being 'emotionally unfaithful'. He stood there as she made the calls and listened to every word. All of this for supposed emotional cheating, which was really just his knowing she'd wise up someday and leave him for someone who was good to her. She moved her stuff back into the family home and that was that. Except it wasn't the end. Now they're back together and she's claiming she can't break up with him because he's "the one". Yet, she still complains about the relationship and the family has to hear about it constantly and the more they say, 'leave', the more she seems determined to stay. Not to mention none of them can stand the jackass after what he made her do. I don't get how you just go back to being a couple after something like that.
One of the things discussed during 'The Lemonade Incident' was my habit of dating older women, which led to a discussion on age differences in relationships. The friend who spiked my lemonade claims that there is no such thing as 'security' for either party when there's an age gap. Because someone will always be a little insecure about it; either because they think they'll be left behind for a younger model or that they won't be ready for major life stuff when their older partner is. Her theory being that such insecurity adds stress to the relationship and contributes to the downfall, and she cited my past experiences as proof (yeah, was that ever a fun evening for me, spiked kool-aid and analyzing of my past lives). However, only one of those relationships ended because of age-related issues and it was because she couldn't handle the whopping 5 year difference. I felt insecure about age the first time I dated the mother of my child, when she was 35 and I was 23 but that was a significant gap. Since then, everything's been within an 8 year range and no one's had an issue. Once I settle in I don't even think about the difference anymore because it is just a number. If you click, you click and that's what's most important.
I don't think there should be any insecurity about anything if you're really with somebody, if it's a good relationship. But it seems like both of them are insecure people in general. And I know that anyone who really, truly loves you would not be able to make you call the people you love and expose all the dirt on your relationship. I've heard of ugly break-ups before (I like how I just wrote that as if I've never been through one myself) but this was way over the top. If you're not happy and you think she's going to just find someone else younger, who treats her better, then just end it and move on. There was no reason to tell her to make those calls other than to boost his own ego. At the end of the day, it doesn't seem to matter though since they're back together as if it never happened. I hope they're not back to stay though. I shudder to think about it continuing and then kids being brought into the mix someday.
