On All Hallow's Eve, one of my friends who I never thought would get hitched actually tied the knot with his longtime girlfriend. He grew up in a war zone of a house and swore off marriage and kids for years, and the girlfriend wasn't crazy about the idea of marriage either. But they sort of rededicated themselves to the relationship at the beginning of the year and got engaged and married all within about a month. The wedding was awesome, in part because my newly single sister-in-law had her eyes set on a wedding guest from the bride's side. And then...well...
Me: Just go over there and ask him to dance already. I'm tired of you staring at him.
Sis-In-Law: Okay, I'm gonna go ask!
AK: Wait...who are we talking about?
Sis-In-Law: The guy over there in the red.
AK: [Long pause] He's 17. He's one of the bride's cousins.
[Table erupts in boisterous laughter]
Me: Way to go, Jared. You know, from Subway. You know, cuz he liked-
Sis-In-Law: Oh my god!
A: Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson!
Crazy Aunt: No, Mijo. She's an Asian cougar. It should be, Mrs. Robin Fong.
A: That is so unbelievably racist.
Crazy Aunt: Oh calm down! It's not racist if you're being racist towards family!
Me: Uh...I do believe racism is racism.
AK: Who cares? I say you go ahead and get your groove back, Stella!
In her defense, dude did look to be in at least his twenties. I cannot wait to spend the holidays with these people.
