I Miss The Sound Of Your Voice, The Loudest Thing In My Head

This year will mark 14 years since my first love departed and while it has gotten somewhat easier to function without her in the last few years, loss leaves a hole that you can never quite fill. It's amazing what kind of things will send you thinking about the person you lost. Sometimes it's a song, sometimes it's a quote. And sometimes your mind just wanders. I'm kind of a hoarder in that I save things like emails and voicemails for various reasons. The main reason being that my memory is horrible and getting worse by the year and I want to be able to remember important things. There's one voicemail in particular that I've saved for 14 years; in my voicemail inbox, on my computer and backed up on numerous hard drives. If not for that voicemail, I'm sure I would have forgotten what my first love sounded like since my memory is crap. I rarely listen to it, but was feeling brave and decided to do so last night. And it was okay. It didn't destroy me emotionally, it didn't send me into a depression. It made me smile, actually. It was nice to hear her voice again. But it did make me wish for more. And that wishing for more made me miss her something fierce. Loss is a bitch ya'll.