Her: I came up with a new quip about what happens to you if Trump wins your election. Ready?
Me: Maybe later.
Her: What's the matter?
Me: Bad day. Pointless argument.
Her: I'm sorry, darling. If it makes you feel any better, I almost broke my leg whilst harassing a baby.
Me: LOL. How...I don't even wanna know.
Her: lol It's a long story and it makes me look bad. And I'm still trying to win you over so I should probably stick to things like how I donate to the orphans and am very flexible physically.
Me: They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach though...
Her: That's a myth. The quickest way is through the chest.
Me: #BlackWidow
Her: S didn't tell you what happened to my ex-husband...hmm...
Me: Oh my god, we can be on Investigation Discovery!
Her: Erm...I would have to kill you for that to happen, love...
Me: Oh my god, you and my estate can be on Investigation Discovery!
Her: LOL. "Estate". I don't think a Force Awakens DVD and a Hakuna Matata t-shirt counts as an estate.
Me: LOL. Oh, just you wait. I have much better toys and t-shirts that may be worth the effort of killing me.
Her: Nothing would be worth that.
Me: Aw...
Her: Well wait, I shouldn't say that until I peruse your closet.
