My best friend. I love her. Completely unconditionally and I know she feels the same way. She's proven it on more than one occasion during the past 26 years. I don't love her for any one reason. It's not because I have to or because I'm obligated to. It's simply because of who she is. We're compatible and we have been since the day we were born. If you're one to believe there's someone out there for everybody (though you don't always marry your someone), then consider the fact that my potential someone was born in the exact same room I was born in, three months after me, and we ended up side by side in the NICU because I was an unexpected problem child and she was premature. For your someone to be right next to you from that early on...that's rare. That's something special. You go through everything together. If you look at the photo albums in both of our parent's homes from our childhood, every birthday, every school function, every summer picnic, we're in the same shot. I'm a twin and I am very close to my sister, but you woulda thought my best friend was my twin considering how much time we spent together. Thankfully, we look nothing alike or we would've been mistaken for siblings.
There's a picture from Christmas in 1984 when we were at my great grandparents house. Every year my family has these huge holiday parties and it's a great time no matter how old you are. In this picture, there's actually like four of them that my Grandma took, we're dancing together in our little Christmas outfits. I mean, getting down! It's one of my favorites partly because my Grandma took it and partly because it just reminds me of the holidays every year. It reminds me why I've never spent them anywhere but home. Another picture has the two of us on field day at our elementary school. We're sitting on the side of the relay track or something, in the dirt with me holding a sign for the next relay group. She's sitting right next to me on the side of that track and, somehow, my mom managed to get nothing and no one else into the shot but the two of us. It's one of those Kodak moments that you hear about. My mom's had that picture up in the house since the day she got it developed and I never really got why it meant so much to her. I mean, it's not our best photo..it was field day, we look like we'd just run a mile (and probably had). But I get now why she keeps it up and what it means to her. I think she feels less stressed about me because of it. She has three kids and by the end of the year I'll be the only one who isn't in a stable relationship or marriage. That's cause to worry but she knows I'll never truly be alone in life because of this person I've been blessed with from the beginning of my life.
I used to think that I'd never really been alone but I know I have, during my accident and recovery. No one else, not even her, could go through that with me or for me. But it is a testament to how strong our connection really is when you consider that she felt physically ill the hour I got into the accident and she was miles away and had no clue what had happened at that point. And she was there for the aftermath, the good and bad points of my recovery. She never tried to say that she knew how hard it was because she knew she didn't. I've had very few experiences where we've argued and we've never had a time when we weren't speaking. I know how lucky we are to have this. There's no one closer to me than her. And that's why it drives me crazy when her major flaw rears its ugly head. She freaks herself out in new situations and then she pulls away or she just stops communicating. She does things that come back to bite her in the ass. And I know her well enough to know that she is fully aware of what she's doing, but she does it anyway. There's nothing I want more than herr happiness and for her to be settled. What gets me is that she knows exactly what she needs to do to be balanced, she's the most balanced person I know by nature, but she refuses to do it either out of pure stubborness or for some other stupid reason. She sabotages her romantic relationships and she's on the verge of doing it again with someone she really does love. And it's something that I can't fix, for the first time in 26 years. And that sucks beyond belief.
