So I was on a call with somebody when my sister starts texting me every two minutes. I was reluctant to end the call I was on because I don't feel well and being on the phone with this person made me feel at least a little better. But my sister's youngest son is just back from the hospital for an issue with a virus so I got worried something was wrong. Scratch that, I knew something was up but I knew it wasn't about her son (cue the eerie twin connection thing people are so in awe of). Apparently my brother and sister-in-law had it out over her saying she was gonna file for divorce tomorrow. He accused her of having an affair, she denied it and so on and so forth. Same fight, different day. In all honesty, I have liked my sister-in-law a lot more than my brother the past couple of years. She's basically been a single mother their entire marriage and as far as I see it, filing papers is just a way of making it official so she can go out and find happiness. Anyway, I talked to my brother for the first time in awhile and talked him down from his fit. But I didn't know what else to say that I haven't already. I love him, always will cuz I love unconditionally, but I won't talk to him as long as he's mouthing off and making accusations about cheating towards the mother of his children. And while I don't condone cheating at all, even if she did step out I can't say I'd blame her. So for now everything is okay and no papers have yet been filed and we'll see what happens next.
Yet another family matter that is weighing on my currently aching head is my teenager informing me she plans to move out of my place and in with her boy toy. My response to that, you ask? Four words, my friends: Over. My. Dead. Body. She's 21 so I guess if she actually went through with moving out, there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. But there is just so much dysfunction between her and the boy toy. I recognize it so well because it's like watching my first girlfriend and I when we were a little bit younger than Ricky and Lucy are now. So hot and cold, in love one minute and fighting on the front lawn the next. This week she wants to move in with him, next week she'll be telling me he's an ass and she's gonna break up with him. Same pattern, different decade. And I know the only reason she's so anxious to leave my place is because she doesn't agree with my rules. Tough. She has it pretty damn good with me and I'm curious to see how she thinks she's gonna pay for a place with her boy toy, since they're both students and don't have very much money. *sigh*
And, on one last family note, I had a conversation tonight about adoption that struck a chord with me. A friend's brother knocked up a chick and then took off to do his own thing and the baby is due next month. The mom-to-be is 21 and her family is refusing to help her out if she keeps the baby and she's not really in a position to raise it herself so she's all but decided she's going to give it up for adoption. The father's family doesn't want that but they can't really offer much assistance either and they can't get a hold of the pregnant chick to try and convince her to change her mind about the adoption. The situation sucks all around. I'm not knocking adoption, my sister's youngest son is adopted and none of us can imagine life without him, but I guess I'd never thought about what happens to the birth family after a kid is put up for adoption. Obviously I feel for the friend going through this because I know how it's weighing on her and it kills to not be able to help. I mean, what can you really do? Convince her you'll help as much as you can and hope she accepts the offer? Taking the kid and raising it is pretty much out of the question since that's a big financial burden (take it from a dude who spent entirely too much on shoes for a 3-year-old last week, babies ain't cheap). I don't know. And I have no idea what I would do in that position. It would majorly suck to have a member of your family out with god knows who and you never get to see them. My brother became a "parent" (term used loosely because I still don't see him as a parent) at 19 and I very well could have ended up in the same predicament my friend is in. My brother never wanted kids and he tried to convince the future Mrs. to put up their son for adoption but she wouldn't hear it. But I don't know what she would've done if her family had shunned her and my family couldn't be there to help her out. I might not have gotten the chance to know my nephew. This is like the ultimate catch-22 and it breaks your heart. I feel for the friend and her family and I feel for the kid who's in limbo right now. But...everything for a reason, I guess and it will work out the way it was always meant to be. I just hope the way it's meant to be involves the baby being able to know his birth family on (at least) one side.
*sigh*....Yeah, family is a blast. And I've had enough of this ride for the evening, I'm headed to bed to shake my head and stomach aches. (And I feel old saying this but my back hurts too...like a freaking old man, I tell ya. It's sad.)
