And I Am A (Clumsy) Material Girl

My friends and I recently did some karaoke for the first time in ages. We decided to make things more exciting by putting forth a rule that others got to choose your song and you had to sing it regardless of how you felt about it. My song? "Material Girl" by Madonna. Yeah. As if that weren't bad enough, I slipped on something while singing (shut up! I did too!) and almost bit the floor. I was able to catch myself but hurt my foot and tore my jeans right down the crotch. Fun times, indeed. These are the texts I woke up to from my fellow karaoke...ers.

G: Watching you sing "Material Girl" with authority - PRICELESS. Watching you fall off stage and almost flash your cash and prizes to your harem at the edge of the stage - FREAKIN' AMAZING! LOL

E: Hey supastar. How's it hangin'? Oh wait...half of New Jersey can answer that question for me lol

Y: Remember that time when I had eight too many and flashed Bourbon Street inadvertently? And remember how you told everyone that story over and over again for months? Now I have an equally embarrassing story to tell about you! Thank you so much!

R: I don't know what's funnier...the fact that you sang Madonna so well or the fact that you fell completely sober. Either way, I salute you sir.

A: Morning hot stuff. How's your ass the morning after it kissed the pavement? lol

S: I want you to do what you did last night at my wedding...that sounds so wrong...but so right...

I need new friends.