I Love You...Let's Discuss Taking Out A Lease With An Option To Buy

My sister and bro-in-law are celebrating their fourteenth anniversary of togetherness this weekend. Our beloved Crazy Aunt is also celebrating a birthday this weekend. Upon thinking about my sister being happily taken for quite some time and preparing to walk down the aisle in a year, and my cousin having recently celebrated his ten year wedding anniversary, Crazy Aunt said, 'They still seem really happy too Mijo...I wonder what is wrong with the rest of you'. The rest of us being my cousins and myself, all in varying degrees of relationships but all pretty much single. Thank you Crazy Aunt...I appreciate you telling the rest of us we're unlovable by anyone but our own kin (have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore this woman?). Although, she does have a bit of a point. My generation has been quite restless. Some of us want marriage and/or kids very badly, while others want love but are completely content without what's supposed to come after that. Some of us have been close to all that, others have purposely distanced themselves from it. Most of us have been in long-term relationships but obviously nothing that stuck. And long-term for us really just means lingering over a period of several months and/or years. It was just a bit depressing to realize our longest consistent relationships were only about two years before they headed to the unhealthy on and off territory. Trying to make ourselves feel better about being unable to keep things together, we started talking about whether we could count our cell phone contracts as long-term relationships. And you know what? We did. And going by that logic, we're all quite good at sticking it out for the length of a contract. Verizon and I just renewed ours until 2014, at which time we'll have had at least ten (and probably more) happy but at times rocky years together. So why can't the same logic apply to actual marriages? I don't think it's as crazy as it sounds.
Picture this: A much younger me recruited to be the ring bearer in my uncle's wedding. My sister was a flower girl and, reluctantly, walked down the aisle but refused to throw flowers. This is her favorite uncle and she did not want him marrying this woman (we were 5 but apparently very opinionated even then). Once she finished walking down, it was supposed to be my turn. What did I do? I refused to walk down the aisle. How's that for foreshadowing? My mom took me to the beginning of the aisle and told me to go the rest of the way. Instead, I ran in the opposite direction like the cops were chasing me and, upon being apprehended, had to be carried down the aisle by my other uncle. As if that weren't enough, I had to practically be held the entire ceremony because I wanted to run outta that church something fierce. I don't remember any of it, but my family still tells the story and finds it both hilarious and interesting given my stance on marriage as a growned up. Crazy Aunt thinks it was a sign and I knew even then that I never wanted to participate in such a ritual. More than a few people have said they can't be sure the result wouldn't be the same if I were parked at the top of an aisle these days. Either way, it strengthens the argument for shorter marital contracts.
Even though I tend to be bad at relationships, I'm not terrible at commitment. That's something I don't mind at all. But marriage just seems...big...maybe too grown up for me or something. Forever is nice in theory but it takes an awful lot of work to get there and maintain it. I wonder what the world would be like if marriage was like a cell phone contract; sign on for a couple of years and then decide if you want to continue beyond that. Or like a lease on a car, sign on the dotted line and commit for a few years and then decide if you want to tough it out long-term. A friend brought up this idea awhile ago and I scoffed at it but now it sounds like a good idea. Although she thinks the minimum should be five years, not two. And I guess that does make more sense. But I would be more likely to commit to a two year contract instead of a five year one. It's kinda funny when you think about how we all commit to pointless things everyday; cell phone contracts, leases on cars, parties, most of which cost us money. But a commitment to the person we love, which gives us so much more than it takes, seems to be a tall order. Someone should really run with this marital lease idea. Could be the wave of the future.