Friend: I don't have a damn thing but I'm gonna have a pre-nup anyway to protect my mom's houses
Me: I'm going to protect my Xbox and my TV lol
Me: But really, I'd probably get one to protect my kids because you never know
Friend: lol I'm gonna protect my car and Commodore 64 gaming system.
Me: lol Which will both prob last longer than the marriage
Friend: 'Scuse you I'm plannin' to mate fo life yo
Me: BUT...if I marry rich and negotiate a good pre-nup...then divorce...you can come live in my McMansion. I'd build you an entire herbivore wing
Friend: lol Did I say mate for life? I meant hitch my wagon to yours
Me: lol Wow, that took a lot less than I thought it would
Me: I was prepared to throw in your own personal Starbucks too
Friend: I would have abandoned ship sooner but I was driving lol
Me: LOL I had you at "if I marry rich" huh
Friend: lol Ho yeah
Me: G was talking about how he doesn't think being super rich would make him happy. I agreed it wouldn't take only money to make me happy. But it'd sure allow me to buy what does make me happy
Me: #HoHosAndCoffee #HookersAndBlow
Friend: lol and how
Me: I remember way back when on MTV Cribs...I think it was Tommy Lee had a Starbucks in his house
Me: Although I'd need like an on call barista. Or a live-in barista. But both of those kind of sound like slavery so nevermind
Friend: lol Um, not if you PAY them Giuseppe
Me: lol Like I said, it woulda been slavery
Me: "Amo Pice! Babu wants a mocha!"
Friend: Soooo, you'd refer to yourself in the third person, by your slave name?
Friend: Wait, was Amo Pice my slave name or yours?
Me: It was yours
Me: lol And now we know you can't be by barista since you don't know your own name
Friend: Please, I'd be an amazing barista! I can draw you a middle finger in the foam
Me: Hmmmm
Me: Oh alriiiiiight
Me: You can be 12 years Giuseppe's slave
Friend: LOL
Me: lol I'm going to hell for that joke but I already had a ticket anyway so oh well
Friend: You and me both. I was gonna cheer by yelling out "kunte kinte"
Me: lol we're horrible and it's amazing that Fonz would allow us to find one another
Me: It's like a perfect storm of debauchery and offensiveness
Friend: Told you, soul patnahs
