Crazy Aunt: Ho, ho, ho!
BF: Um...Merry Christmas?
Crazy Aunt: It wasn't a Christmas thing, I just saw three hos sitting at a table and wanted to call attention to it.
Mom: Excuse you, I haven't been a ho in at least 30 years! Wait, how old are you?
Me: ...33.
Mom: Okay, then I haven't been a ho in at least 26 years!
Me: Ewwww.
BF: LOL. Oh my god, I never realized until just now...but you and mom have so much in common!
Crazy Aunt: You're right. They're both hos.
Me: Excuse you, I haven't been a ho in at least 30 hours! Wait, what time is it?
BF: One o'clock.
Me: Okay, then I haven't been a ho in at least 12 hours!
Mom: That's a much bigger discrepancy than mine was.
Me: I have a worse memory than you do.
BF: And his hoing days aren't over.
Mom: Well, I always wanted my kids to have better than I did. And we know your siblings didn't get the ho gene.
Cousin's Girlfriend: Dude, your mom is awesome. She just dissed your siblings for settling down and having kids.
Dude, my mom IS awesome.
