A friend sent me an email this morning with the subject line, "How sad". It contained a link to an article about a dating site geared toward finding people not necessarily their soul mates, but someone they're willing to settle for. Seriously, that's the whole purpose of the site. Members list the pros and cons about themselves (they're missing a golden opportunity if this section isn't called "What's Wrong With Me"), and are also required to put up both good and and bad pictures of themselves. After that, I guess they just sit back and wait for Mr. or Miss Good Enough to find them. How depressing. I feel sad for anyone who is at the point where they're willing to settle for someone who just makes them feel "meh" and has a few things in common with them. I wanna be madly, head over heels, "oh my god is this really my life" in love with someone and definitely have zero interest in settling for anything less. Granted, I'm only 33 so I'm not in panic mode about not having found my lobster yet. But even if I were older and single, I wouldn't be so unhappy alone that I hitch my wagon to the first decent chick who comes along. I don't want Miss Good Enough, I want Miss I Can't Believe She's Mine.
I'm a big believer in the whole you can't love someone else until you love and are happy with yourself thing. It should be common sense, right? If you can't accept yourself and all of your flaws then how can you expect someone else to do it? I used to dwell on my flaws and on the reasons why I shouldn't be in something good and thus I wandered for years and sabotaged my own happiness. In the grand scheme of things, I believe this was something that needed to happen for me to realize I needed to change and then have faith that everything else would fall into place. I loathe most change, but when it's necessary, I stick with it. And so far, it's brought wonderful things into my life. I love my work, I love my inner circle and know they love me, and I've had awesome opportunities that I either would've missed out on or denied myself if I were still in that dark ages hole I dug. I'm a lucky dude. And a happy one. Happiness is like gold and you hold onto it when you find it. I used to think my flaws defined me, but now I see everyone's flaws as just small imperfections in otherwise beautiful masterpieces. I used to nitpick the women I dated until I found a flaw I convinced myself I couldn't live with, but now it's like I find those flaws almost endearing. Life would be so boring if we were all 100% happy with ourselves and all saw ourselves as total catches (because, let's face it, some of us definitely are not). Quirks and flaws are what keep friendships and relationships and great romances interesting and alive. I hope at least some of those people on this Last Chance dating site realize that and demand better for themselves.
