I just...I don't even have words.
Y: I ran into [college acquaintance] last night. She hasn't even aged a day. Bitch.
G: That's because she's black.
Me: ...Holy racism, Batman!
G: lol It's not racist. Everyone knows people o' color, including you and I and our Latin tiger blood, age better than white folks. That's why you still look like fucking Benjamin Button at 25 and I don't have a wrinkle to speak of. Sorry, Y.
Y: What do you mean, 'sorry'? It's not like I look my age either.
G: But you're white. So time will catch up with and then proceed to beat you.
[This is where I sipped my coffee anxiously and looked anywhere but at these two fools as I anticipated her to lunge across the table and kick his ageless ass.]
Y: Uh, HALF-white. Meaning there's that whole other half that won't age. Bastard.
G: Or the white power is so strong that it overtakes the color. And BAM, you age horribly and you all ugly.
Y: You know what? I hope I age horribly so I can hop in my DeLoreon, come back to this moment in time and whoop your ass before proceeding to age fabulously.
G: ...So you hope you age badly so you can age badly is what I'm hearing...because DeLoreon's don't exist.
Y: Shut up.
Me: ...So...I hear hoverboards will be out by the end of the year, that's kinda neat.
Y: And fuck you too for not aging!
I just cannot win with the ladies today, ya'll.
