I went to sleep early last night because I was still shaking some jet lag. At around 3 in the morning, I wake up and hear some kind of tapping outside my window, which is odd since my window is a couple of stories up. I pay no attention to it and roll over and try to go back to sleep. Then I start thinking about how weird it was that that kind of tapping woke me up so easily. I'm a fairly sound sleeper and I live in the city, and have all of my life, so I'm used to sleeping through gunshots and horns honking and all that stuff. As I'm thinking about this, more tapping outside and then my phone rings. "Do you not hear me flinging things at your window right now? Come outside." I recognized the voice and, reluctantly and only half awake, headed downstairs.
I'd never realized how dark my street can be at night. It's probably not a street you should walk down all alone. Fortunately, I had a friend along for the ride and what a ride it would turn out to be. It wasn't a voice I expected to hear when I answered the phone, the author of the letter that has caused so much of a ruckus. We decided not to talk or communicate because it was complicating things. But we can't live without each other either. So we hop into her car and just start cruising around the city. No clue where we're headed, me sitting in the passenger seat pouring out my heart about my predicament. I can't even recall where we ended up but we sat outside and talked and then it just starts to pour all of a sudden. We ran over to the doorway of a nearby building and sat there for what seemed like forever, until the rain stopped and then watched the sun come up. We eventually made our way to breakfast and then I got home around nine and got an hour of sleep in before my 14 hour day today.
Despite being totally exhausted, I wouldn't trade last night/this morning for anything. She did what no one has lately, she listened to me. My relationship with the mother of my child (yes, I've stopped using girlfriend in reference to her) is riding its rails. And I needed somewhere to go and tell all of this to. Someone who wouldn't judge it but who would just hold it and ask me what my gut is telling me to do. And now it feels like I can look at this through brand new eyes and finally come to a decision and be at peace with it. Thank you, G.
