Sole-O

It's been well documented that my ex wanted a baby more than anything in the world the first time we dated. I don't know what her feelings on the subject were right before we actually managed to get knocked up but she seemed very happy. So riddle me this - how does someone who waits nearly 40 years to become a mother suddenly detach from her own child? I don't get it. But my family has started to point out some stuff I missed the first time around. Like how this attitude of hers seemed to move to the front of the line after the baby and I bonded. Prior to that, it was the two of them against the world and girl power. But now the kid and I are ridiculously close and, whenever given the choice, she chooses to be with me. I think this is harmless and probably has to do with her being freaked out by her mother's boy toys. I think she's too young to be picking a 'favorite' parent. It could also have to do with her mom being much stricter than I am. I don't let the kid swing from the chandeliers or anything but I'm much more laid back than her mother in terms of what she eats, where she plays, how to discipline, etc. I mean, what kid would run to the warden when she can chill out with a lenient guard?

I'm using these scenarios as my guide to whether or not to file for sole custody of our kid. Up until now we've been civil and out of court but I've seen some things that have concerned me over the past month. Her mother has cut out - twice - on date nights they were supposed to have. This weekend I told her our girl was under the weather and her response was, 'I trust you'll do what's right for her'. WTF? I've never missed an illness this kid has had, whether it happened during my week or not. Now all of a sudden she can't be bothered to even talk to her kid when she doesn't feel well? Something's not right there. And she won't talk to me about what the issue is, if there's an issue at all. And so my only option left is to consider protecting both me and the kid by filing for sole custody. I've heard horror stories about custody battles, and seen some with my own eyes. I really, really, really, really, really, really don't want to go that route but I don't think I have many options left. And that sucks. If she would just have a conversation with me about what's going on, this could all be avoided. But she doesn't want that apparently. My mind is not yet made up but I'm definitely leaning.