Remember that fear I had about my new drug regimen? Fear no more. Because I have discovered that I do not get depressed or sick or moody on my new drugs. I. Get. AWESOME. I was warned up and down about what the side effects might be, especially after the first dosage. The list of potential side effects was literally a mile long and it's kind of a crap shoot as to who reacts badly and who doesn't. So I go in to get this thing started and have to take a couple of drugs and wait 30 minutes before I start the heavy stuff. They hook me up to this machine and to a blood pressure monitor and for the first hour or so, this nurse stares at me to "watch for any reaction". My only reaction was annoyance and apparently that's not a side effect they're worried about. The meds went in very slowly and they increased the dose every half hour or so. There weren't really any complications, although my blood pressure did drop quite a bit when they upped the meds the second time and I had to take a few hits of oxygen. I felt fine while I was getting drugged up, except I was bored out of my mind (the nurse would later tell me I could bring my laptop to my appointments to pass the time). I started feeling really cold the last hour I was hooked up to the machine and then I felt kinda out of it. And here is where the fun began. As soon as I was liberated from the doctor's office, I was on some kinda high. I don't even know how to explain it, I felt okay but very up and I found almost everything to be hilarious. I dropped my sandwich on the floor and just laughed at it. A friend asked me if I was excited about the NYC tree lighting and I said I didn't know if I was excited and then laughed my ass off for a good few minutes. I was texting about "wandagons" (which was supposed to be bandwagons), changed 'counting kitchens' to 'cognac kitchens' and told my mom half a dozen times that I loved her in the span of a half hour (think a drunken "I love you man!" but with the last part changed to 'mom'). I also yammered on to my sister about something I wasn't supposed to tell anybody, within earshot of one of the people I wasn't supposed to tell. Yeah. I was a blast. I almost felt drunk and I know I certainly sounded like I was.
Everything in life is an adventure and my foray into the new drug program was no different. And while I was seriously freaked out about the potential side effects (particularly the one where your brain disintegrates), I came away from it with a bit of a different perspective. First off, I had to be in the chemo ward to get my meds and I think I was the only one there not being treated for cancer (thank god for that). That put my illness into perspective cuz I very well could have been one of those people. The other thing that happened while I was there was I got to read up on how other patients have responded to this drug, both those who have what I have and those who don't. It could have been depressing since it really does seem random who sees improvement and who doesn't. But instead I chose to focus on the good stories and there were quite a few to choose from. A couple of people went into complete remission and were there for years afterward. That's obviously the best, best case scenario. We're going for stable but would gladly take remission, even if it's temporary.
So I guess at the end of the day I had less to be concerned about that I originally thought and that's always a good thing. I still have to take precautions though now that I'm on this drug. I can't be around people who have received live vaccines (flu shots, etc.) for too long since my immune system is suppressed. I also have to avoid sick people because they could literally be the plague if they pass on their illness to me. But all of that is minor since things could always be much worse. And I would avoid sick people anyway since I don't like having the flu (although I haven't had it since I was a kid). That's really been the only downside to the steroids is the way they suppress the immune system. I had trouble adjusting my moods and sleeping when I started them but once my body got used to them, that got much better. My immune system was already kinda weak to begin with but now it's like if someone breathes on me I have to be very aware of it. But like I said before, it could always be worse. And I am very thankful it isn't.
