I have two friends in very similar situations (though on opposite coasts) in their relationships. One I have known since college, way back when she was still a "rookie", a nickname I gave her because she was still a virgin (she, in turn, gave me a nickname - "bastard"). Eventually she ditched her virginity and later on became involved in a little something with a guy on the track to become a priest. Good idea? Eh, as long as she's happy. That didn't work out and she moved on to a long-term relationship that ended a few years ago. She's been dating a nice young lad (I can say that cuz they're both younger than me) for awhile now and it was made clear very early on that he is also considering becoming a holy man and fornication is a no no. This was not really an issue in the early days cuz they were just letting it take them where it may and sex was an afterthought. However, they are now in the stage of really, really, REALLY liking each other and my friend is...well, she ain't liking this drought business. The other day she texted me that they'd gone to second base and I was oddly proud of that. But the day after that happened she was greeted with a lecture from the holy man about how they're not going to second base again. Something about how he's saving himself for his future wife. So although her kitchen be totally open for business, he's made it clear he will not be patronizing it unless a ring is put on it (if one ever is, it's still early). And so, the drought continues. Years ago, I would have said I didn't understand her attitude of staying with someone still in the shrink wrap, and she can vouch for that. But now, slightly more mature, I understand it's not about sex. It's about connection and so on. And as long as she's happy with him and it works, then more power to those crazy kids. If it doesn't work out, well maybe she can go for the hat trick of holy men.
The other friend of mine in this situation turned 34 this year and has a couple false starts in the 'happily ever after' category. He was engaged at 19 to his high school sweetheart but she was killed. He met and fell hard for one of my old high school friends a few years ago but that ended when she cheated on him (in his apartment, no less). Then he had an affair with a married lady ten years his senior (but no one thought that was gonna work out anyway). Now he's dating a chick his mom set up him up with and they really like each other. She's 33 and a virgin and told him on their second date that they would not be getting down anytime soon. He said he's willing to put sex on the back burner and see what happens between them. Well, apparently stuff is happening at an accelerated rate because she's started dropping hints that she wants him to meet her family. It could be nothing, their parents already know each other (that's how they met). But he feels like it could be a bigger deal. On top of all this, her family is VERY religious and he isn't so he's not sure how the meeting is gonna go. But people with different religious views date all the time and what's important is they like each other and they respect and can live with the other's views. I really hope this works out the way he wants it to, he deserves to be happy and I know he is (for the moment) with her. And out of all my friends, he's probably the most...well, he's probably the only one out of all of us that can go without for years (if need be). So more power to him.
It's funny how views change as you get older and experience more of life. In college I thought anyone who was still a virgin beyond 24 was some kind of religious weirdo. And there was no way I would have ever dated one. I did date an uber-religious chick who had only been with one other dude but that was post-college and was ill-fated from the start. I've always been attracted to older women so the virginity issue has been non-existent in my own dating experience. But my friends seem to be all over (pun intended) older virgins this year. A new trend I guess.
