One of my favorite people on earth visited me last week and we hadn't seen each other in almost a year. I've mentioned this before but my cousin is awesome. I love everyone in my family and I know I shouldn't play favorites but the two of us get on very well and always have. The crazy thing about that is we're actually very different people. Same sense of humor but we live our lives very differently. She would marry Mr. Right tomorrow if he came along today and have his babies by the weekend, whereas I am quite content to wait a few more years before I have more kids and set down roots. She's religious and goes to church every Sunday, I'm not religious and well, ya'll know my Sunday routine. Oddly, our difference in religion seems to be one of the things that's brought us closer over the years. My family isn't all that religious (that I know of anyway, more on that later) but I remember being home a few years ago, back when I was still questioning and hadn't found what worked for me yet, and my mom and I were in the car and the talk turned to god. I don't remember what I said but I know I offended her and that was the last time I ever talked about my own beliefs (or hers) with my mother. That is also how I learned to shut my mouth about religion.
Last year I joined a dating site (something well documented here) and it asked about religion and I didn't list specifics but let it be known that I'm quite serious about what I do believe. I didn't think it would be a big deal to date or talk to someone with different beliefs since it hasn't been in the past. But then I got a very large number of messages from women who listed themselves as Agnostic or Athiest and it bothered me for some reason. I have friends who are Agnostic so that wasn't a big deal but I still don't think I could date one and especially not an Athiest. Everything is a learning experience and I learned that, while I don't really care what religion the person I date believes in, they have to believe in something or else it's not gonna work. One of my last girlfriends was pretty religious and so was her family and I was a little worried about how that would work out for us in the beginning. But on our second date, we had a very long and in-depth conversation about all things religion and we both knew what page the other was on. She did her thing, church every Sunday and Bible study every week, and it was just that - her thing. I understood how important her faith was to her and she understood how important mine is to me. And that acceptance on both ends was awesome.
I think I give off some kind of vibe about religion and I'm not sure why. I'm not anti-religion at all, I actually like reading up on religions and, eventually, I'm gonna make it through most of the sacred texts. What I don't like is the commercialization of religion and I don't understand mega-churches and how some people claim to be uber-religious but cast that by the wayside when it's convenient for them. And the way some people try and force their beliefs on others is really a pet peeve of mine. Someone called me anti-religious the other day and it really bothered me for some reason. I mean, I don't have a religion but that doesn't mean I'm against others who do. I think whatever works for people is their biz unless they choose to share it. But I know it's a very personal thing for a lot of people and it can also be an uncomfortable topic, which is probably why there's so much ignorance about other people's faiths.
I was raised Catholic, attended a Catholic school for two years and most of my family would still classify themselves as Catholic. But the thing about my family is that we don't tend to talk about big stuff like religion much, if at all. I don't know why that is. We talk about everything except religion and my accident. And they both feel like some big secret we're not supposed to speak of. I doubt the majority of my family even know what I believe nowadays. In the aftermath of my accident and the worst year of my life, I heard a lot of, "It's god's will" or, "She's in a better place" and it rubbed me completely the wrong way. And no one's said much since. I guess they're just glad I believe in something after all the hell and the dark ages and such. But I don't know why we can't talk about it. I know beliefs are deeply personal to everyone and it's easy to get offended when someone says something about what you believe. But when you think about it, it's called 'faith' for a reason. The majority of people believe in something they have no concrete proof of. *sigh* I have no idea why I'm so religion-y today. Just something to think about I guess. I'm sure I'll expand on this later.
