Do You Believe In Magic?

I know way too many chicks. Never has this been more apparent than in the week since "Magic Mike" was released. I've gotten texts ranging from Crazy Aunt telling me it made her, "feel like a natural woman" (yes, that is a mortifying direct quote), to another friend flat out saying she was horny as a mofo upon leaving the theater (I sure hope they steam clean theater seats these days). And now, that damn movie is even infiltrating my conversations with other dudes. This convo happened ten minutes ago and was the best laugh I've had all day.

G: Saw your new Facebook photo.

G: I do believe you are just about the prettiest thing I've ever laid eyes on.

Me: lol Eff off

G: Whoa there, Magic Mike! Calm down now!

Me: LOL. I hate you. I've heard about that damn movie too much this week.

G: lol Word!. It's weird to say out loud but I think that movie is improving my marriage.


And another from yesterday that still has me laughing my dainty ass off.



Me: I'm the Bobby to your Whitney too
G: Get up off my ass
G: Save your money jack
G: You know I've been humpin' a clown
Me: LOL! Wow...there is so much wrong with that, I don't even know where to start
G: LMAO AROUND!! Fuck the iPhone, man.
Me: I hope someone got your clown humping on tape
G: lol If they did, your cousin will so divorce me.
Me: Save your money, jack? Is it a clown hooker of some sort?
G: Stop it
Me: And why is it on your ass if you're humping a clown? Are there two clowns? I'm so confused.
G: LOL SHUT UP!