I woke up a bloody mess last week. No, I'm not using that as slang because the Olympics have just begun, I'm talking an actual bloody mess. I woke up and there was blood on my pillow. It was just a little so I figured I'd had a bit of a nose bleed and thought nothing of it. Until a few days later when I got up in the early morning hours to go to the bathroom and saw 1/4 of my pillow covered in blood. Seriously freaked out, I checked for the source and discovered it had been coming from my nose and mouth. I called the doctor and got in for an appointment right away. Nosebleeds are fairly common but in my case they're nothing to mess with. The IV meds I had to attempt to treat my anemia have a potential long-term side effect - leukemia. And bleeding from the nose is a symptom of certain kinds of leukemia. And bleeding from the gums is a sign of a low platelet count in people with leukemia. And now you understand why I was so alarmed.
I always have the "L" word in the back of my mind, especially at times when I feel extra run down or when my anemia isn't quite under control. But I try not to think about it too much because the "what ifs" drive you crazy. I know it's always a possibility though and that scared the hell out of me. The doctor scheduled a bunch of tests for me next week, including the bone marrow biopsy I've been delaying for at least a month now. They took more blood and my counts were up a bit so he flat out said he has no idea what's going on. But he set me up with another leukemia specialist. He says there's reason to believe it's just my anemia out of control and not leukemia though, so that's something. The fact that my counts were up is one good thing. I also just had a plasma transfusion not too long ago so he thinks that also plays in my favor. But he's genuinely puzzled as to why nothing's worked to keep my anemia in check yet. So I don't know. Hopefully this week's tests provide some answers. At this point, taking my spleen out is the least of my worries.
