I'm A Mr. Waiting, And Never Patient, Can't You See That I'm The Same The Way You Left Me

13 years...it's crazy to think that you've lived longer without someone than you have with them. My grandmother, who I was very close to, passed away when I was 9. That was 25 years ago this year. My surrogate grandma has been gone for nearly 8 years. My great grandfather, the best dude I have ever known, has been gone for 3 years. All people who had a very significant impact on who I am today. All of whom will, someday, have been gone longer than they were a part of my life. And the same is true of the girlfriend. We only got 7 years together, so she's already been gone almost twice as long as she was here. That's wild to think about. It's also crazy how time does heal some of the hurt, but not all of it and that last little part remains. I think you lose little pieces of your heart when someone you love is no longer here. We all have moments of, "Wow, I wish that person was here to see/experience this with me". I get that a lot when it comes to the girlfriend. Every year older, every new life that comes into mine, every big accomplishment and every minor accomplishment...I think of her. I know life would be very different if she were here and we likely wouldn't even be together. Hell, we may not even have been a part of each other's lives at all by this point, I'm not blind to the problems we had. But we were young. And, even if we were no longer friends, it would still be a comfort just knowing she was wandering around somewhere on this big old planet. And she is. But not in a form that I know or can contact. Although, after the events on my birthday...I don't know what to think about the whole contact thing. Either way, I miss her terribly.