Someone close to me expressed his displeasure at the current state of his romantic relationship. Apparently he's brought the subject up with his lady friend, but she's swamped with work and doesn't want to deal with it right now. And so he vented to me. Back in 2013, they were introduced by mutual friends and it was, shall we say, a slow burn. He'd been fucked over by his ex in grand fashion and was reluctant to get involved in anything new. She was also just out of a long relationship, but they dated for a few months anyway. Then, began a series of stops and starts, at both of their prompting, that left everything in a massive grey area. They went through a period where they rarely spoke and he even hooked up with someone else for awhile. It was after that that she seemed to realize she wanted to be in a committed relationship with him, but he resisted for reasons only he knows. Finally, they got it on track and began dating exclusively. But it's been anything but easy. There's still that instinct they both have to stop and start at will and that doesn't really work in something serious. He contemplated ending it a few months back for a very stupid reason, but ultimately stayed the course. Now that work has amped up for her, she's on the road a lot and he finds himself unhappily left behind. And it's causing him to wonder if they don't have a solid enough foundation to make things work longterm. They definitely have communication issues and I can't help but get the impression he's not all in on the relationship. I can't figure out if it's because he thinks he can do better or the attraction isn't all there or what. But something is definitely amiss. She's doing what she can to keep things copacetic but he's not exactly helping the cause. I genuinely hope it works out but, sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if he walked away.
It sounds like a cliche but it really is true that the foundation you build before you get into a relationship can determine how things end up down the line. It is this whole building of a foundation that Agent W and I once lamented having to go through again should we ever find ourselves single. And, well, now we both find ourselves single. She's enjoying the freedom of that since she's newly single, while I'm past the enjoyment phase and into that area where I'd just like to be done. I'd be thrilled to fall madly in love with someone and have it stick, rather than falling lustfully in bed with someone I rarely speak to over the next few weeks. With Miss N about to hit her 7th year, I find myself more reflective about the possibility of having more kids. I used to think, "hell no, I got a good kid, the next one would probably be hell on wheels like me!". But now I'm more of the mind that another kid might be nice, if it were fated to happen. And if so, I'd rather it be sooner than later since Miss N is already older than I would've liked her to be when she got a sibling. Don't get me wrong, I could still go either way about procreating once more. But right now, a week before Miss N's birthday, I'm in a, "Sure, why not?" kinda mood. But you know what would really help me out with that? A relationship. Not just any relationship, but a solid one with a good foundation that helps me figure out what the hell I want out of life. Sounds great in theory, but the reality of having to do all that foundation building has been...off-putting for me. I don't mind working at something, especially with someone I see a ton of potential with, but it's like...brick by brick, ya'll. Just writing about it sounds exhausting. But I know how important it is to do so, especially when I've seen so many relationships fall apart because they lack a decent foundation. Anything worth having is worth working at though, right?
