Today I had my first ride on a private jet. It was...meh. The takeoff was rough and I was sure I was gonna die. (Even better? Two small children on the plane looked at me like I was retarded for freaking out about turbulence.) Upside? I had wifi so I was able to keep in touch with my peeps on the ground. Some of the convos I had:
(He had texted me before the flight wondering out loud if the premise of 'Final Destination' would work on a smaller plane).
Me: Dude, takeoff was ridic! I thought I was gonna die.
G: Is there a black guy on the plane?
Me: ? Why?
G: Um because you know the minorities always die first in scary movies. Which would not bode well for you. Unless there's a black guy on the plane.
G: Duh.
Me: ...What would that matter if we're all gonna die anyway?
Me: And btw, everyone on the plane except me and a kid are black.
G: Score! That means you'd be the last one to die! And that's reserved for the white man. So you would be moving on up! lol
Me: LOL. I get to die last! My white mother will be so proud.
G: LMAO. Well you always want your kids to have better, they say.
(We were talking about the latest thing we've invented for our made up company and how we were going to use the jet in our promos for it. And about how there was no alky on the plane.)
W: What the hell kinda promo is this gonna be, if the main man steps off the G6, and he ain't got no pimp cup? The world we live in mang...*shakes head*
Me: Well I can have the cup. Just no liquor in it.
W: But...then that's not going to be true to our reality
Me: lol. Because we big pimpin' EVERYDAY.
Me: Me unemployed and you working in holy land.
W: LOL
W: Foodstamps on a money clip...that's how we roll.
W: The plastic in our wallets is an EBT card
