My last 48 hours have alternated between good and terrible. But mostly terrible. My great grandfather, my idol for as long as I can remember, passed away a few days ago. We all knew it was coming; on Monday we each got that early morning phone call that you know from the first ring is not good news. He's been in a home down in Texas ever since grandma died five years ago and I think the move down there was the worst thing for him. He had family down there but they were all elderly and not very active and I know the people who were taking care of him (the other side of the family we no longer talk to) weren't stimulating his mind. If he'd stayed back home, at least he would've had kids and family who genuinely loved him around. Anyway, he's always said that when the time came for him to go, he would go out as he chose. And he did. Over the weekend, he decided to stop eating and drinking and his organs failed as a result. He passed away late Monday night. Interestingly enough, we all seemed to react more to hearing he was dying than to his actual death (so far). Probably because we all knew the other phone call was coming. Our family has never done this kind of death before. Sudden, traumatic losses are our kinda thing. Maybe having the time to reflect on his life and our time with him helped us and made us realize that we wanted him to stay here for selfish reasons. He lived a good, long life and got to be a part of five generations of family. But somehow it didn't seem enough. For us, anyway. He most likely saw that he'd gotten to do a lot more than he ever thought he would and felt blessed about it and decided he was ready to go. Can't fault him for that at all. I know he's had a rough go of it since he lost the love of his life five years ago.
I intended to include all kinds of memories about my gramps in this post but can't seem to think of many. I'm sure it's just because I'm tired. But I do remember playing board games with him as a kid, in the tiny nook in the back of their house. I remember him teaching me how to build stuff and lay down concrete and shovel snow without killing myself on the ice (not that it's helped since I'm so accident-prone). I remember listening to his stories about being a young cook in Texas and stories about what my mom, aunts and uncles were like as kids (an armful). I remember the candles and Rosary he and grandma kept in their bedroom, the candles always burning. I remember riding in his old truck and listening to music from the 30's and 40's and being so bored. But so happy to be around him. He was one of those people you just wanna be around all the time and learn from. And I will miss that immensely. I miss him a lot already and I'm sure that feeling will continue. He was, by far, one of the best men I've ever known. But hopefully he and grandma are reunited and having a blast wherever they are.
R.I.P. Gramps.✝
