Brother: Happy Birthday big brother! I love you and thanks for always being there. Even when I'm a jackass (Mom didn't want me to write jackass in here but you see what I did there?)
Sister: Hey there little brother. I like how I can honestly sing, 'You say it's your birthday, it's my birthday too'. I joke about having had to share the womb with you like it was some big burden but really, I had no idea that most babies get more living space in there. Just like I have no idea what it's like not to have you. We were born with built in best friends and we're very lucky. I love you very, very, very, very much. You are my favorite little brother. (Mom didn't want me to write that either but you see what I did?) You're an AWESOME friend, brother, father and man and I'm so proud of you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Cousin: One time you pushed me outta the treehouse and I fell. But Happy Birthday anyway I guess :p Love ya brother!
G: You are like a brother to me, even though we're only somethings-in-law. Sure, I may tell Edwin he's my favorite of the group but you and me is family now so you moved ahead of him. But seriously if you ever need anything; a kidney, a lung, an eye patch, a dungeon to keep Miss N locked up in till she's 40, just let me know. Here's to more debauchery for you, me and the kids huh? HAPPY BLADDER!!! (Damn the iPhone! Birthday*)
Bro-In-Law: Wanna hear something depressing? We've now known eachother more than half our lives. We're so old. BUT you are the best friend I've ever had dude (aside from that chick I knocked up, I forget her name). We've been through a lot together and no doubt there's gonna be a lot more (read: teenagers). But I will always have your back no matter what. I mean, even if you commit a murder or rob a 7-11 or tear the little tag off your mattress that they say you can't tear off. ALWAYS! Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man you are. I love ya, Happy Birthday.
Sis-In-Law: Remember when we were 12 and that guy in the gym said I was fat and you punched him? It. Was. AMAZING. You've been throwing punches to anyone who's crossed me since. I love my brother but he was 7 when I was 12 so he wasn't going to be able to defend my honor. But I gained a big brother in Jr. High. Thank you for being amazing and for loving my kids as if they were your own. And for putting up with me during my pregnancy. I'm SO SOOOO happy they will grow up knowing you and your warmth and humor. And your hugs. Because you give the best hugs on the planet! I love you!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Best Friend: As you may or may not have noticed, I am not there for your 31st (26th?) birthday extravaganza. But it doesn't mean I love you any less. Actually I love you more now that you're "26" because you're older than me! We've been on one hell of a rollercoaster the past 30-some years. But the ups have always and I hope will always outweigh the downs. I don't know of anyone with a bigger heart than yours. Or anyone more caring. Or anyone who drives me insane sometimes. But I still wouldn't trade you. Unless it was for like a mansion on an island somewhere....Is there a mansion on an island somewhere? :-p HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!
Teenager: Pa! I love you so much. Thank you for taking me in and treating me like your own daughter. Even though I joke about you and your hookahs but I love you like a father and can't imagine how my life would've turned out if you hadn't taken me in. I think it's disgusting when my horny ass friends hit on you but I'm moving out soon so that's neither here nor there. Anyways, have a Happy Birthday and I miss you!
Mom: To my son on his 31 (Lord your aunts and uncles are old) birthday. When I first held you in my arms, I was so overwhelmed. I ordered one and got two but it was the best surprise of my life. You were unexpected from the start and have continued to be just that everyday since. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to you. I worry sometimes but I also know you will always figure it out in the end. My dreams for you aren't always the same as your own, but I have learned that's okay. I've watched you grow and become far more than I ever could have imagined when I first held you in my arms. You were such an entertaining and talkative baby and child. So imaginative and caring. I'm thankful that you are still all of those things. But you're also sweet and funny and beautiful and a wonderful father. You have made being a parent life's greatest reward. I love you very much and I am incredibly proud of what a good man you've become. Happy Birthday son.
