My bestie signed her, her baby daddy and me and the ex up for a co-parenting class today. I have to admit, I was thinking it would be the downer after what's been a pretty great weekend. But instead, it ended up being kinda great. The BF even made it back in time to attend, which surprised us all. The ex and I have a court date on the horizon and this kind of thing looks good to the judge so we figured what the hell. The point of the class was to clear the air about everything that's happened already and that could happen in the future, as well as get into the little one's heads about what they want/need. The thing I wasn't crazy about is that all of this is done in one room, meaning all of the parents and kids gather in the same place and you have to have your air clearin' talks in little groups all grade school style. But even that turned out to be okay. Nobody could hear anybody else's drama over...well, their own drama. Shockingly, the ex and I didn't have a ton to hash out. We've already done that, in parts, the past few months or so. We've both changed a lot in that time and it's obviously been for the better since we're getting along great. Neither of us said anything the other didn't already know; that she made things difficult for me because she still loved me and because she could, that I should've been up front during our first go round in saying I wasn't ready to have a baby (I was about 23 at the time, we gave it a shot and then I said I wasn't ready and we broke up). Once we got through all of our stuff, we just had to sit there and wait for anyone else to deal with theirs (the BF and her dude were the last to finish hashing out their issues, but her problems have more to do with his family and MUCH less to do with him). Then, they brought the kids back in and had them talk about what they wanted from the parents. (Miss N said she wanted a puppy. The counselor chick explained that wasn't quite what they were asking.) I was surprised at how little Miss N had to say (she usually doesn't stop talking these days). All she wanted was for the three of us to have dinner once a week. And the puppy. And honestly, she'll probably get both of those things by the end of the year since I kinda want a puppy too (like daughter, like father).
I'm happy we all did this whole thing. I really got some good stuff out of it. I've often thought I lucked out in knocking up Miss N's mom. We've had our issues but when we're on good terms, things are amazing. It makes everyone's life easier. People get all consumed about having the so-called "perfect" and traditional family, but I really wouldn't have things any other way. I love the mother of my child; as a friend, as family, and as the only other person on the planet who shares this amazing little being with me. I ADORE Miss N. I'm a very lucky dude. I'm surrounded by beautiful, smart women. (Years ago, I'd have said I was lucky because I was surrounded by beautiful women of a different sort.) I could have knocked up someone crazy or obsessive or who knows what else. I could've knocked up someone who was terrible at being a mother. But I didn't. Miss N's mom is one of those people you just know is going to be awesome at the whole parenting thing. She's patient, she's loving and she's always there for Miss N. Are we a traditional family? Nowadays, I would have to say yes. I grew up in a non-traditional family environment, back when people really thought something was amiss if it wasn't a mom, a dad and a couple of kids. Now, what is a "normal" family? I think we are. Certainly a modern one. All that's missing is a couple of gay uncles. Okay, well one more gay uncle since Miss N already has one. But, I have to say I'm very thankful for what we do have.
