G: LOL. I get such a kick outta how you have impeccable manners, impeccable grammar and yet the shit that flies out of your mouth is some of the most offensive crap I've ever heard.
Me: LOL. Life is short, G. If I censored myself, we wouldn't be friends.
G: lol Word to your mother. And speaking of, don't flirt with my mom next week.
Me: I don't flirt with her!
G: Yes, you do. And the sick part is she flirts back.
Me: LOL
G: She asks about you all the damn time too, "Is Giuseppe going to help with the move?", "How is Giuseppe?"
Me: Don't be such a bitter bitch just because your mom likes me.
G: Shut up! She doesn't like you!
Me: I'ma marry her, don sweaters around the hearth at the holidays and make out with her right in front of you.
G: LMAO. Because it's entirely possible she's into that scenario, all I will say is I'm not calling you daddy.
Me: That's ok, she can do it.
G: LOL. I hate you, that's disgusting.
Me: lol I know, I hate myself for saying it too.
