Since You Been Away, I've Been Thinking Of You...

You know what's funny? How one simple comment or question can set you off in a certain direction. Someone asked me the other day what I would wish for if I had one wish available to me. If I could wish for anything in the world, what would it be? I didn't have an answer for the question, so she wondered out loud if I'd take back my accident, and I said I probably would not. Yes, the whole thing was a bitch and has left me with a lot of scars emotionally and physically, but I don't get to who I am now without all of that. Then, she asked if I'd take back the girlfriend's accident. And that's been on my mind ever since. It would've been easy to say that my wish would be to go back and make sure she didn't get in the car that night. That would be the easy thing to wish for, especially considering we don't actually get wishes in real life. But I don't think I would. I'm a strong believer in past lives and I feel like wishing to change either of our fates interferes with wherever we're supposed to end up the next time we circle this here rock. It would be selfish to wish for her back, in a way. In doing so, I may keep her from something better. I say all of that and it sounds like such a mature view to take of the whole thing, and certainly miles away from the view I had years ago. But whenever she's on my brain like she is lately...another part of me feels like I'd jump at the chance to have her back. Miss N is 7 now and, though she and the girlfriend obviously never crossed paths, sometimes she does or says something that reminds me so much of her. It's crazy. Loss it a bitch.