Father's Day

Honestly, even now that I have a child, this day doesn't hold much feeling for me. We never really celebrated it as kids cuz our father wasn't around. We'd wish uncles and grandpa Happy Father's Day but it wasn't a big deal. Even now that I am a father, this day still isn't a big deal. I had trouble sleeping last night but eventually passed out and woke up early this morning thinking about the father-related situations some of my friends find themselves in today. Two of my friends lost their fathers when they were kids and both have mentioned feeling a kind of sadness and emptiness about having never gotten the chance to know the men who helped give them life. Another friend never got to know her birth father (not by her own choice) and is visiting with him the next few weekends. She's understandably dealing with a number of conflicting emotions. I don't know which of those scenarios is more difficult to deal with.

One of my best friends has been estranged from his father since he was 5-years-old. His parents divorced and his dad just walked out the door and never came back and I know it affected him very deeply. He came into some money years ago and his dad came around looking to share in the wealth. He was thrilled that his dad wanted back into his life and they got to know each other for a few months until dad suddenly stopped returning his phone calls. It turned out he was only around to get some cash and never wanted an actual relationship with his son. This incident contributed my friend ending up in rehab a few years later. I don't know how you get over that kind of rejection. I never sought out my father, maybe partly because I didn't want to be rejected myself (not saying that would've happened, but you never know). I guess it's good he got to see the dude's true colors though.

I didn't realize until someone mentioned to me today that Father's Day is kinda weird in that it's more on the hush than Mother's Day. Everyone tells you to call your mom, get your mom a gift, tell her how much you appreciate her, etc. when May rolls around. But with fathers, it's a little more tricky. Everyone's situation is different when it comes to their father so it seems like fewer people say anything because they don't want to offend. And it makes sense and I'm definitely one of those who appreciates that. I've never thought about my father on this day. Ever. I don't know what that means but it feels like it should be significant.