Man, we played a crazy game of poker. And here's (one of many) entertaining convos that took place, this one about the dating site the best friend and I used to be on.
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Best Friend: I got messages from a conductor, a doctor and an IT guy.
Me: Like a train conductor?
Best Friend: No, [my nickname], like a symphony conductor.
Girl Friend: What's wrong with the doctor?
Me: He's Indian.
Male Best Friend: Hater.
Best Friend: It's not cuz of that! He actually asked in his second message if I would quit working if I married a doctor.
All: Oh.
Me: Well...there's always the lesbian.
Best Friend: Did you really just suggest I sleep with a woman?
Me: Hey, I said you should write her back but obviously you have other urges.
Male Best Friend: How come no guys ever hit on you?
Me: I guess I'm not pretty enough.
Girl Friend: Or you're too pretty.
Me: You're right. I am too pretty. What happened to the two dudes you were interested in?
Best Friend: One was Canadian-
All: EW!!
Best Friend: Yeah, and he wasn't crazy about kids. The other one Twitters.
Girl Friend: I think it's called Tweeting.
Best Friend: Whatever. Point is, he sounds like a total ass on his Twitter page.
Me: So now you're dating or not dating dudes based on their Twitter pages?
Best Friend: No! But it's like FB cuz it shows you the real personality, not what they want you to read about on a dating site.
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: How did you even find his Twitter page?
Best Friend: He put his full name in his profile cuz he said he'd rather talk on FB.
Me: I don't get why people think FB is such a big deal.
Girl Friend: Says the guy with a main profile pic of his ass in a tree.
Me: And a "wife". But that proves my point in a way, I wouldn't have a problem with people off that site seeing my FB page. I just don't wanna share my name or pics of my kid with them.
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: I couldn't date anyone with a Twitter page...or an Asian.
Me: You do know [Best Friend] is Asian, right?
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: What do you mean?
Best Friend: A: India is a part of Asia. B: My dad is half Japanese. Hence the last name babe.
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: Huh. I did not know that. Though I did Google your last name once cuz it didn't sound like a Indian name.
Best Friend: You Googled me?!
Girl Friend: You're Googling your suitors off this site when you can and you're on Gaby for doing the same thing...
Male Best Friend: You're married, why would you date anybody?
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: Options, [male best friend's name].
Me: You do know you're married to my sister basically, right?
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: Oh...yeah.
Me: So you're not gonna write back the lesbian, huh?
Best Friend: Hell no! (pause) How come you think nobody else wants us?
Girl Friend: Um, I have someone. It's ya'll nobody wants.
Male Best Friend: Maybe we're just too much awesomeness for people to handle.
Cousin-In-Law/Friend: Dudes, we just talked about how we Google people and judge based off Twitter posts. No wonder nobody wants to put up with this group.
Me: I believe the kids call them Tweets. And I don't judge off meaningless crap like that. But then I also don't understand Twitter.
Male Best Friend: You sound so much older than 30 there.
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Too much awesomeness for people to handle. I like it.
