I'm not one to remember a lot of my dreams. I don't think I have the brain capacity to retain that kind of information and all the other useless information that's in there. But every now and then, a dream comes along that just gets stuck in there and won't let go. A few years ago, it was a dream about the Apocalypse that stuck in my craw and recurred a couple of times. It bothered me so much that I actually blogged about it and how I could feel the flames of this meteor or whatever it was on my skin. Then, there was that dream I had where I died and was hovering above everything and annoyed at myself for...well, letting myself die. That one was freaky and shook me for a bit. My latest recurring dream is...odd. It's sticking in my craw because it's odd, not because it's scary or provokes any kind of strong emotion. I just don't know what it means and that's what's working my nerves.
This whole thing began a few weeks ago when I woke up remembering pieces of a dream involving a house I've never been in and a number of boxes packed in that house, almost as if someone were preparing to move. The house was at least two stories and cramped, not a whole lot of space even if it hadn't been full of boxes. In the first dream, no one else was there, it was just me walking through this house and confused about where I was. I didn't think much of it after I woke up. It was one of those, "Meh, that was weird" kinda things and I went on about life. A few days ago, I felt extremely rundown, which never happens to me. Yesterday was better, though I still felt off in some way. I was unable to go to bed early because of a work commitment and MOC took Miss N for the night so I could sleep in today and hopefully shake off whatever was ailing me. I woke up at 7, but quickly fell back asleep and that's when this latest dream hit me. It was the same house, this dream beginning as the last one had with me wandering around. But this time there were a few people sitting around the house, people I did not recognize. Oddly, one thing I did recognize in the first room was the entertainment center that is in my own living room, which was random. I walk through the house, but no one talks to me and I don't attempt to talk to any of them. Suddenly, I'm in what looks like the hallway of a public building or something along those lines and an acquaintance of mine is pulling a wagon (not a kid's wagon, but the kind you'd use for gardening) with a small dog in it, which I thought was weird because she has a big dog. She also looked...different. She's a blonde, small chick in real life, but here she had hair that was curly and dyed purple and bluish in some parts. My initial thought was that she looked hot (it worked for her), but before I completed the thought she gestured to me and told me that one of my better exes, R, was moving to Los Angeles. I remember feeling alarmed by this for whatever reason and wanted to get in touch with her but didn't have her number anymore. I decided to email and asked why she was moving and then, on the front steps of this building, I saw a chick who used to be her BFF eons ago, back when we dated, and asked if R was really moving and why. She didn't answer. In fact, she was almost like in a zombie state, walking straight ahead and not even looking up towards me. And then I woke up.
I have no idea what any part of this dream means, or why it's started to recur. And of all exes, why R? Don't get me wrong, she's awesome and was better to me than I deserved, but it's not like there's any chance of anything between us now. She's happily married with two little ones, and we haven't spoken in months. I have no idea why she'd be in my subconscious. Also, the acquaintance in the dream is one I haven't spoken to in quite sometime, so I don't know how she factors in either. Like what the hell, subconscious? What are your demands, what is the point of this, what am I supposed to do with this information? I'm not gonna contact either of these people, and I wouldn't know what to say even if I did. I know for a fact that R is not moving Stateside anytime soon and suspect the L.A. aspect had to do with us spending a fair amount of our relationship there. I suppose the house could symbolize my occasional desire to move to a house, and the packing could have to do with that or could be something having to do with baggage. No clue what the people not talking to me means. It's all very odd and it irks me when I can't figure something out. Hopefully it doesn't recur again.
