Y: I need you to be my date to this wedding.
Me: ...What wedding?
Y: [High school friend] is getting married and I RSVP'd for two. You're up, homie.
Me: She's getting married?
Y: Yes, to Regina.
Me:...That's a girl's name...
Y: She's marrying a girl. They're lesbians. Try and keep up, sweetie.
Me: What?? She's a lesbian? When did that happen?
Y: LOL. I'm guessing at birth. And I told you she was like three or four years ago, after she came out. Thanks for listening when I speak lol.
Me: lol Listening is hard. And so is attending a lesbian wedding, I'm not going.
Y: Oh yes you are! I'm not gonna go stag to a lesbian wedding. Look at me, I'm fucking hot and I'll get attacked.
Me: LOL. Ok, let's get one thing straight - ain't no lesbian high enough, ain't no lesbian low enough to try and get with you.
Y: LMAO! I knew that'd provoke a good reply but you did so much better than expected by workin' The Supremes in there. I don't know how you rewrite lyrics so quickly but I am your biggest groupie.
Me: lol It really is a gift. Still not going though.
Y: Did I mention there will be some quality, confirmed bi-sexual ladies at this shindig?
Me: ...Well, one lesbian wedding can't hurt.
