I spent my 29th birthday home with my family and the day before the occasion I went to buy an ice cream cake with my mom. This was supposed to be a trip that included my sister but she ended up not going. I envy her. Mom and I walk into the store and get in line and finish the conversation we'd been having in the car. We were quiet for a second while we looked at the menu and then it happened. "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago had been playing on the PA, not very loud but you could still hear it. All of a sudden I hear the opening notes of LL Cool J's "Doin' It" and I swear someone cranked the volume all the way up. As if that weren't enough, it was the unedited version of the song (if you know the song, you know that version is filthy). The line was, of course, endless and full of kids who didn't know what they wanted so I was forced to stand there next to my mom and listen to this song. In. Its. Entirety. Yeah. I like to think she didn't hear it at all, and it's possible she tuned it out cuz she hates rap. Neither of us looked at each other or ever said a word about it (thank god). Makes for a great story now but it was mortifying while it was happening.
I mentioned my mom and crazy aunt made an appearance over the holiday weekend and chronicled crazy aunt's shenanigans on the night of her arrival. But crazy aunt was by no means done. We had a BBQ and everybody was chillin' out (and drinking). Crazy aunt is on my right, one of my friends is on my left and I'm telling my friend the now infamous ice cream story and I don't notice my aunt is listening in. She leans in as I finish the story and asks why it was embarrassing because she'd never heard the song. I told her it was a graphic sex song and, without missing a beat, she says "I wanna hear your sex song [insert my nickname here]!". And she said it quite loudly. Everyone looked over at us for a minute and then went back to what they were doing. She and I went inside and I let her listen to the song, unedited and with headphones, and it was fascinating to watch this happen. She sat there with a beer in one hand and an iPod in the other and listened to the song, then hit the back button to listen to it again. And six more times after that. Yes, my 60+ crazy aunt's new favorite song is LL Cool J's "Doin' It".
