The mother of my child has been making good progress in her recovery. So much so that we've talked about her visits being longer and more frequent. I thought we'd agreed that this altered schedule was gonna start this weekend. I asked her during our visit on Wednesday if she could take our daughter and she said she couldn't. Fine. How about Sunday and/or Monday? I know our daughter misses her and doesn't understand the situation so maybe if she gets an extended period of time with her, it'll make her feel better. She said Sunday and Monday would probably work and she'd get back to me. I know she likes to last minute stuff so I asked her to let me know before today because I have plans tomorrow. She agreed. Thursday....nothing. Friday comes and suddenly she forgets how to return a message (or three messages, as it were) so I get up early this morning and find her and ask her what's going on. Now she says she can't take her either day because her lawyer says she shouldn't take her during times that aren't listed in the custody agreement. I told her that's crap, she can see her kid whenever she wants to but she still won't budge. Then she makes a comment about why I want her to take the kid for an overnight now and I get pissed off. She didn't change her mind because of custody. Someone tipped her off about what my plans are. And I can't believe she'd be so fucking childish.
And now I'm PISSED off because I'm screwed. I've fucked up these plans before and this person has been more patient than I deserve them to be. I finally start to get over all my reservations and self-sabotage crap and now it's the ex issues that flare up. I really, really, really don't wanna lose this person. But I can't say I'd blame them for deciding to pick up their marbles and go home. And I feel terrible. And I'm mad dashing to find something that will work or go right this morning. And I'm nauseous at the thought of my having possibly blown it for the last time. Ugh...
