Awhile back I bet a friend who likes her some alky that she wouldn't be home from a night out at a decent hour. I'd started counting my victory when she arrived home and sent me a message that said, "don't count kitchens". About 5 or 7 minutes later she corrected herself and told me she meant to say, "chickens" (those 5 to 7 minutes were PRICELESS on my end since I was sober and she clearly was not). I hadn't had more than two drinks in at least six months during the time this conversation took place. I was doing very well. WAS being the keyword here.
Saturday night I was pissed off and a little depressed and hung out with a friend who's having trouble with his girl. Then we started playing shot glass checkers (BRILLIANT game). About six games in, I decided we should probably stop drinking since he was slurring his words. Now that I think back, I was likely slurring my words too but I was too buzzed to notice. So we stop playing checkers and he gets the bright idea to crack open a bottle of tequila and have "just a glass". That turned into three glasses a piece and he passed out on the couch. Enter my best friend, stone cold sober and unsure what to make of the scene before her. She took me home and stayed over to make sure I didn't die in the night. And we fought. Which we rarely do but have done twice in the past week.
I woke up Sunday morning with a headache (but those have become the norm the past week or so) and bloodshot eyes and I was so nauseated. So what did I do, you ask? Hair of the dog, girls and boys. I took a single shot of whiskey about mid-day to try and shake my symptoms and it did help a little. Then I had another drink with dinner. And another one to calm my nerves later on in the night. Around midnight or so, I was close to counting kitchens myself. And it's actually pretty pathetic since my tolerance is very high. But I haven't had two days of drinking in quite some time and my body is not liking it at all.
I woke up this morning with so many things wrong with me, I can't even explain. My phone was separated from its battery (which was under my pillow). My hair was wet but I don't remember having taken a shower. And I could've sworn I put my laptop to sleep yet somehow when I turned it on this morning, it started up as if I'd completely shut it down. A banner Monday any way you slice it. And it only got better when I was served with papers stating the mother of my child wants to change the custody arrangement. She wants to be top dog and call the shots and she's citing all kinds of dumb ass (and untrue) concerns about me to try and get her way. I was pissed off about it but I've since moved on to just being sad. Not about the situation but about her in general. I adore my daughter and I care about her mother, though I don't agree with almost anything she does anymore. Maybe that's my problem, I can't just stop caring about the people who are important to me. Anyway, I'm sad that she can't just let go of this whole 'happy family' scenario she has running through her head. It was never meant to be and I don't truly believe she was ever really in love with me to begin with. I'm sad she can't just let it go and move on with her life. There are going to be other people for both of us and she's gotta accept that. And I don't get how she could just not care about me at all and instead bring out all these nasty allegations against me. We're the only two people on earth who share this amazing little being that is our daughter but rather than enjoy the ride, whatever it brings, her mother insists on bringing drama. And now I know why I've been drinking for two days. Something out there in the universe knew I was gonna need it.
