You know what's fun? Making out a will. No, seriously. Okay, well maybe that's just me. Although who can't agree it's fun to be able to say, "You're out of the will!" and actually mean it? I made peace long ago with my own mortality and the fact that everyone dies sometime. I've already been spared twice (maybe three times after that alleged not-breathing debacle) and I'm thankful for it. But my luck in the death department ain't gonna last forever, no one's ever does, and it's best to be prepared for the unexpected. I made out my first will around the time I became a father. It was a very odd feeling to be both on a high about having a child and then dealing with the downer that is death. But you do it when you have a reason to do it and my reason was wanting my girl to be protected if anything should take me away from her. Since that first will, a lot has changed in my life and my recent health issues made me realize I should update it. I just didn't realize what chaos it would cause amongst my family and friends.
The first time I made out a will everyone I knew realized it was because I wanted to protect my child and so they were on board. This time...not so much. I had to deal with the unpleasant task of figuring out who would take care of my daughter if I'm not around to do that. My mom refused to be a part of it because she refuses to think about losing me. My best friend shot me down because she also refuses to lose me. And that's pretty much the reaction I got from everyone I talked to about this. I mean, death planning isn't fun so I don't expect anyone to wanna talk to me about it but my loved ones are extremely sensitive on this topic. And I get it, no one likes to think about someone they love dying. But I feel like I can't even mention death or my feelings on the topic because of how sensitive everyone is about it. Once you make peace with the fact that death is coming and there's nothing you can do about it, you have a different attitude and viewpoint. I'm not afraid of death because there's no reason to be. But I also don't wanna die (for a number of reasons obviously) because I have a responsibility to a little lady that I adore. And I need to be there to watch her grow up and become whatever she's meant to be.
So my will remains as it was before I started bringing up all this stuff. No one wants to talk about it and I've grown tired of trying to make them talk about it. For the most part, things are filled out the way they should be. And I've talked to the mother of my child about it and she knows what's up, even though she also does not like to talk about the subject. But hopefully it never has to come into play and I still have a lot of years ahead of me.
