From two separate conversations with my best friend this week. Two exchanges which make me wonder why I keep her around (and I'm sure she wonders the same).
Her: "I think you could get married someday. But you'd have to be really, really, really, really, really, REALLY sure. And I'd also have to be REALLY sure about her."
Me: "Yeah. Still doubt it though."
Her: "I know. I'm not sure how I feel about it anyway. Since it would surely be the seventh sign of the Apocalypse if you ever walked down an aisle as the groom."
--
Her: "You remember [high school acquaintance]?"
Me: "Yeah. Why? Did you run into her somewhere?"
Her: "No. But [another high school acquaintance] told me she ended up going to Brown. Can you believe it?"
Me: "Brown what?"
Her: "Brown University hon. It's a college and an Ivy League one."
Me: "Bite me. Wait, she went to an Ivy League school??"
Her: "Right?? Who knew she had a brain? She must have slept with a professor."
Me: "You should talk about sleeping with professors..."
Her: "Too bad you weren't friends in high school. I don't believe you've hit Brown yet on your quest to bang your way through the Ivy League."
Me: "Well. Played. I didn't even know that was an Ivy League school."
Her: "Didn't you also not know Dartmouth was one last year?"
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "So you were unknowingly banging your way through the Ivy League? The irony..."
