My sister-in-law has finally bitten the bullet and filed for divorce from my jackass brother. And it's about freakin' time. I was talking about the situation with friends this morning and realized that for the life of me, I cannot figure out why she married him in the first place. I mean, they had a son and had been together for eons already but part of me thinks she had to have known he wouldn't change just because they put a ring on it. But, as one friend mentioned, maybe she just felt like it was the next logical thing to do since they'd done everything else. And I know she loved him, and still does in some ways. I can't exactly talk since I once proposed for the same reason. She said she wanted to marry me, I sat with it for a few and then decided it was the next step to take and there you have it. Obviously it was a mistake and I proposed for all the wrong reasons. But I don't regret it. It opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself and about what I do and don't want in my life. It was terrible while I was going through it but I'm actually thankful for the entire experience now. Same with the best friend and her "marriage" and for my friends who have also had broken engagements. You go through it, you learn from it and you grow. So even though it's tough for the sister-in-law to go through all this right now (and especially this year), I'm just hoping she comes out with the same kind of clarity that the rest of us did. But I know it won't be quick or easy to get over the situation.
Then in the other corner of the ring is my jackass brother (I think that's just what I'll call him now). The irony of this whole thing being that he didn't want to become a father because he wanted to devote himself to his career. Which HE gave up on during his college years, only to end up in a similar field but not doing what he always thought he'd be. Nobody made him stop, in fact we all pitched in so he could still try and achieve his dream. But he didn't care. I've tried to hammer home to him so many times that people would kill for what he has (or I guess had); great kids, an amazing wife who adored him and a job that was pretty damn good. Of course it wasn't perfect but it was a lot better than some people have it or ever will have it. I guess I'm just surprised and confused by his apathy about it all. Especially since the more dire the situation became, the more he just didn't give a fuck. And I mean about ANYTHING. Not work, not family, not his own life. I know there's something else going on with him beneath the surface but if he won't tell me, I can't help him. And that's frustrating. But I can't force him to tell me and I won't let him lay into me anymore about why I'm the one who fucked up his life.
