SUPERSTAR

It's a shame I threw away that dude's card. My fan club is alive and well...

Friend: So what's the guy's card say?
Me: Gurl please. I threw it away with the straw wrapper from my Starbucks
Friend: Have you no vision? That could've done so much for BJ 
Me: Scuse you but that woulda been the J pimping himself out while the B just sits back and cashes my checks
Me: BJ is a group venture
Me: The PB does not work without the J
Friend: Nuh uh! B would've also written fake gushing reviews of J
Me: LOL bc you couldn't write truthful reviews of J
Friend: Yes I could, I'm not above sampling the merchandise....you know, for quality control purposes
Me: Lol right. Quality control
Me: No one wants BJ that isn't quality
Friend: I knew You'd see it my way

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Friend: In other news I seem to have a boy problem outta nowhere...!
Me: Oh really? Who is this guy?
Friend: Some guy. Literally. He works at the Starbucks I go to almost every day.
Me: lol Did he ask you to do porn? Cuz some guy at Starbucks asked me to do that yesterday
Friend: Whoa!! Wtf?! Your story is way more interesting - spill it mister!
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Friend: Lol thank you! Many women will be spared headaches!
Me: Lol well you know how I like to help the womensz
Friend: Lol yes, yes I do
Friend: Except by making porn with and for them! Lol
Me: LOL
Me: I think most of my female friends have been like "why did you turn the porn guy down??"
Me: Y'all be perverts
Friend: LOL or we appreciate the finer things in life
Friend: Finer men included ;)

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Friend 1: Someone asked him to do porn at Starbucks
Friend 2: Whaaaaaat? When is that released?!?
Me: Two thousand never. I threw the card he gave me away.
Friend 2: ...But...why would you do that to me?
Me: Because I don't want to be a porn star
Friend: Well don't we have a healthy self-esteem...assuming you'd be a "star"



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Friend: I told my mom about the porn proposal
Friend: She said, "Oh really? Well, I don't watch porn but I'd buy that...to support him, you know".
Me: LOL
Friend: lol Right? I was both grossed out and fascinated
Me: Tell your mom I said, "Hey girl, thanks"
Friend: LOL Fuck you gigolo!