In the past I have bragged about being genetically blessed when it comes to alcohol consumption (perhaps not surprisingly, alcoholism runs in the family). I probably only survived the dark ages because of the impressively high alky tolerance I have. Or, used to have. I don't have that anymore. At all. AT ALL. The treatments for anemia have affected me in many ways but none more apparent than my alcohol tolerance. It has gone down to zero. I can get tipsy on less than one drink. So what happens when I go wine tasting? Quite a bit, as it turns out. In hindsight, I think I drank too quickly and not too much. For an hour or so, I was stumbling around and slurring my speech and...well, you'll see what else. But by the end of the night, I was showing no effects of intoxication. I did have a hell of a time trying to get to sleep though. Which is surprising given how busy I was earlier in the night...
Me: I should have your own reality show on TLC
Me: It would be Honey Boo Boo meets Maury Povich
Me: Meets To Catch A Predator
Me: Meets Jesus Christ Superstar
Friend: LOL...Um okay
----------
Me: Jow many emus jumped over the fence?
Sister: Emus? Jow?
Me: Nine cuz emus can't dance
Sister: LOL Wow
Sister: You are...prettier than usual tonight
----------
Cousin: Where are you?
Me: Swine basting
Cousin: LOL Wine tasting?
Me: Swine basting
Cousin: WINE TASTING
Me: Wife tasting
Cousin: LMAO!
----------
Cousin: Do you have any idea what you did last night? Lol
Me: lol Not really. I only know what I am told
Cousin: Do you remember "wife tasting"?
Me: LOL No...I def woulda remembered doing that...
----------
Best Friend: Well, first you asked the wine taster lady if the wine could breathe after you drank it. Then, you told A [a chick] that she was a "good lookin' fella". And for an encore, you told everyone we ran into that you weren't wearing panties. Although you seemed most interested in telling that to an elderly woman at Walgreens repeatedly.
----------
And just when I thought I was sober, this happened on Sunday. TWO days after the tasting:
Friend: My morning was shot to hell, so was hers though
Me: So you have brunch at 5. It's a Jesus. Sunday would want it that way
Me: LOL Dammit!
Friend: LOL
----------
Friend: Pick up stix
Me: 5, 6
Friend: lol 7, 8 lay them straight
Me: Uh...9, 10...put them back down again?
Friend: That's the same part I forgot too so your guess is as good as mine lol
Me: 5,6 pick up chicks. 7,8 lay them straight. 9,10 send them home again
Me: That's how it goes
Friend: LOL We would
