First, an apology to all those I drunkenly texted and/or called last night and into the early hours of the morning. We went wine tasting last night and, even though I didn't drink much, I did drink too fast and ended up a wee bit tipsy. Who was the drunkest girl at the party? That would me moi. But it was still fun. I shall write more of my debauchery from last night (including my autocorrected Facebook status gone horribly wrong) once I'm stone cold sober. Which should be, roughly, 2016.
Why you should never tell anyone anything ever about your sexcapades:
G: She set that mother fucker on fire like a young Latin boy in a West Coast hotel room...
Me: LOL Fuck you
G: LMAO That's right. Show some of that passion that sets hotels ablaze!
Me: I hate you lol
Me: I don't know why I tell you things
G: lol YOU didn't. She did. But you shoulda told me because this is what friends are for. To remind you of your embarrassing sexual escapades.
Me: I can't do the same cuz you married my cousin
G: lol Yeah, that turned out better than I planned
Me: Although...there was that thing you told me about your pre-marriage days...
G: ?
Me: You know...
G: No, I don't. ?
Me: About that one time...at band camp...
G: LOL Fuck you sooooo hard. That was told to you in confidence!
Me: LOL I was just being a smartass but now I'm curious about what happened at band camp
G: lol I never went to band camp. I had to focus on my academics.
Me: [The best friend] went to band camp...
G: Oooooooohhh...let's do it to her!
Me: LOL Uh...I'm a little unclear as to what we're talking about now
G: LOL The JOKE. Let's use the JOKE on her
