I remember when I first saw the previews for the TV show, "Glee". I liked the premise and I loved that they put their own twist on songs from all genres and decades. I only watched the first season because I felt the show began to stray from what it had been in the beginning, but I did tune in every now and then when they devoted an episode to a certain artist. I have to be honest, I never really loved Cory Monteith in the role of Finn. I wasn't a huge fan of the voice and it didn't seem believable to me that he would be the 'hottest jock' in school. But he did play the role of a clueless, out of place jock incredibly well. He became one of those characters that you couldn't help but root for. I was never a 'Gleek' and have no idea what's even going on with the show anymore, but was surprised to hear that the actor checked himself into rehab earlier this year and apparently had a colorful past when it came to drug abuse. I heard he'd been released and was doing well and thought that was great, he seemed like a good kid. And that's the sad thing about this post is that I had to write "seemed" like a good kid and refer to him in the past tense. As you've probably heard by now, Monteith died in Vancouver last night at the age of 31. The cause is not yet known but people are already alluding to his recent rehab stint and assuming that drugs were involved. Whether that proves to be true or not, some people seem to think they know it all and are posting terrible comments on the stories about his death. Addiction, if that's even what the cause is, is a disease. No one wants to be ruled by alcohol or drugs or anything else one can be addicted to. Once you are an addict, you are an addict for life and it is a constant battle to keep your bad habits in check.
I'm not completely sure why, but deaths of people from my generation while they're in their prime seem to affect me, whether I was a fan or not. I was very affected by Heath Ledger's death despite never having been a hardcore fan of his. I thought he was a great actor but had never gone out of my way to see any of his performances. Maybe it was the fact that he'd simply taken something to help him sleep, something I was doing quite a bit at that time, and never woke up. Maybe it was that he had a young daughter that he would never get to see grow up, who would never know him as a child should a parent. Whatever it was, his death forced me to keep things in check for the next little while. Fatherhood obviously helped with that later on. I was never an 'addict' in the true sense of the word, but I've had an ongoing battle with substances (one, in particular) for years now. I'd start and stop at my leisure and occasionally fall into that same trap even now. That is, until something like this forces me to re-examine my choices and hammers home the potential dangers. Most people have demons of some kind, but not everyone is able to conquer them. Some have to walk alongside theirs for the rest of their lives, waiting and worrying about if, or when, they will eventually be the death of them. Even if that wasn't the case with him, it doesn't change the fact that his life was so tragically cut short.
I think another reason that this particular death has gotten me thinking is because of the girlfriend he leaves behind. I know what it's like to be in her shoes right now, to have your whole life ahead of you and then suddenly have it all stripped away. It's going to be an incredibly long and slow healing process for her. My girlfriend had a few issues with substances in the years prior to her death and it always terrified me that I'd get 'that call'. Once she pulled herself out of that hole, I was so happy. I thought nothing could tear us apart after she was better. But life makes fools of us all. I just ended up getting a different kind of call. Still, it is because of what I watched her struggle with that I am super vigilant about those in my life falling into a similar trap. If only I could take my own advice and not play with fire...
