I've mentioned I'm on an online dating site before. It has you list all your basic info (height, age, etc.) and post your pictures like any other site of its kind. It also lists your ethnic background, though gives you a limited number of options to choose from (ie. no option for mixed folks). My father was Mexican, my mother is half Mexican and the other half is comprised of French, Cherokee, Irish, Scottish, and German ancestry. As a result of this awesome mix I am a dark-skinned Latino dude with green eyes. So naturally I listed myself as Latino but that's had an unexpected effect in that a number of messages I get ask me to elaborate on my background. It's one thing to ask that after we've established some sort of conversation and I'm comfortable but it's another when the question is posed in the very first message or if it seems like the only reason you sent the message is cuz you wanted an answer to that question. And half of them, college educated people, can't even ask right. They ask what my 'nationality' is.
I talked all this out with a friend who basically confirmed what I already knew, which is that if my eyes were brown I wouldn't be getting these kind of messages. Brown eyes are of course more traditionally Latino than green or blue eyes, at least that's what people think of here in the States. I know a part of it is narrow-mindedness over color. My mom looks like a total white chick, you wouldn't guess she was half Mexican or that we were even related. As kids she often got questions about my sister and I, who both have green eyes and are dark-skinned, and whether or not we were adopted. She never answered cuz it's nobody's business to begin with and she figured it would be a non-factor when we got older. (Ironically, people always assumed my brother (lighter skin, brown eyes) was her biological kid when in fact they're not blood related.) We went to a predominately Latino elementary school and I remember being teased in third grade because the kids didn't believe I was Latino. I couldn't be if I had green eyes, right? It bothered me for a few months but then my grandma gave the most awesomest lecture about there being nothing wrong with me and my uncle threatened to go beat up the kids who made fun of me. After that I stopped thinking of myself as being different at all and I ignored those kids.
All my life I've gotten comments about my eyes, which I don't mind when they're genuine compliments and not leading into questions about where I got them. My daughter's eyes are blue-ish green and she has dark skin and I hope she never has to deal with being harassed about it. Attitudes today about race are still not where they should be in my opinion, but I have noticed they're further along than when I was her age. Skin color is just that, a color and you can't change it and you shouldn't want to cuz you are born the way you're meant to be. I think I read somewhere that everyone will be mixed by 2044 and I think that is awesome. But I hope it doesn't take that long for people to recognize that just because you don't look a certain way, you can't be of a specific background.
