I have a friend who I have known for nearly a decade. We met in college and instantly became friends, though I never thought of us as being anything more. Over the past few years she's dropped hints about how she'd like to take things to another level but they were always very subtle. I'm sure I missed the first handful of hints she dropped before I caught on to these ones. I ignored them and figured she'd get over it and it was just a crush type thing. But since I became a single lad again she's started dropping more frequent and much more obvious hints about how she feels about me. Again, I found ignorance to be the best solution to this problem. So finally she tells me that she has another dude interested in her but she hasn't done anything with him because she loves me. I asked her to take some time to really think about that word, "love" and then we'd talk later. Wouldn't ya know, she realized she loves me but that she's not in love with me. Which is what I thought in the first place.
This whole exchange got me thinking about loving someone versus being in love with someone. It seems like it should be a very clear thing, right? But it seems like way too often people can confuse the two. I've definitely been guilty of thinking I was in love when I really wasn't but that's different cuz I didn't even love those people. I don't think I've ever confused loving someone as being in love with them. It amazes me that some people think there is no difference between the two, love is love. And I kinda agree with that, I guess. But not really. I can honestly say I love every single one of my friends. I love my family. I've loved a lot of people in my life. But I've only been in love twice. I shouldn't say "only" cuz some people never fall in love once. But I think most of us want that one that sticks and lasts for good. Lasts through everything. Yeah, that's what the people want (me included).
How do you know you're in love versus loving someone? I think the first time I fell I was too young to really appreciate it. I didn't know what I know now. The second time I couldn't really let myself fall completely because she wasn't fully in it like I was, she was a commitment phobe. Being in love is like being drugged. You can't wait to see or talk to that person, you do romantic stuff cuz you can't help yourself. Best feeling in the world I think. Maybe the third time will be the charm for me. I know that it'll definitely be the best go round yet cuz I'm much more appreciative now of that feeling. Will it last forever? Who knows. I'm not sure anything lasts forever anymore, I don't know that anyone could put up with me that long. And if it's not meant to be a third time, that's fine too. I think you should be thankful if you fall once and hopeful that you'll fall again. So that's where I am now.
